U think you are someone’s full chicken only find out you are not even a neck,
you just nails

If your girlfriend picks up a call and start pressing the volume key down, that’s him.
That’s your deputy

ANNOYING 8 YEARS OLD SON.
Father:- Son can U pls go buy me a
soft drink
Son:- Coke or Pepsi?
Father:- Coke
Son:- Diet or regular?
Father:- Regular
Son:- Bottle or can?
Father:- Bottle
Son:- 500ml or 1liter?
Father:- Damn it!!!! Just buy me
water!!!!
Son:- Natural or mineral?
Father:- Mineral
Son:- Hot or cold?
Father:- I am gonna strike U with a
broom, U idiot
Son:- Stick broom or soft broom?
Father:- Stop this U little animal
Son:- Cow or pig?
Father:- Get the hell out of here, U
bastard!!!!
Son:- Now or later?
Father:- Now!!!!
Son:- So U gonna throw me out or
not?
Father:- I am gonna kill U!!!!
Son:- With a gun or knife?
Father:- I am gonna shoot U little,
bastard!
Son:- In the head or stomach?
Father:- U pest!!!!
Son:- Cockroach or rat?
Father:- Fuck U!!!
Son:- With a condom or flesh?
Father:- (Faints)
Son:- Are U dead or sleeping?
Lol…..
Any words for the Son…?

A soldier ran up to a nun out of breath he asked:” May l hide under your skirt”? I’ll explain later.
The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, Have you seen a soldier? ”
The nun replied:”He went that way”
After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,”I can’t thank you enough sister. You see l don’t want to go to war to Iraq.
The nun replied:”I understand completely.”
The soldier added:”I hope I’m not rude, you have a great pair of legs”
The nun replied:”If you had looked little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls! !!
I don’t want to go to Iraq either! !!

Apart from Castle Lite & Facebook Lite 😊
.
Which other Beer 🍺 do you know?

A meeting at your convenience to discuss your requirements with complete details the class is at least a portion to be in touch.

Being a man is so cool.. You refuse to give your relatives money
and they blame your wife 🤣🤣

You see someone commenting on your babe everyday
only to find out that they are dating

*Here is the official letter that all men must send their female partner by the latest June 13, 2018*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Sweetheart;

The FIFA World Cup begins on the 14th of June.

During this period I won’t have a lot of time for you. It’s not that I’m cheating or no longer wish to be with you, but I will have to make ever effort to watch every single match.

I will not be attending any social events such as, weddings, funerals, parties etc. during this period so plz *DO NOT ASK!!!.*

I know you see it as only 22 men chasing a ball but it’s absolutely important that you keep such thoughts to yourself and do not express them during this period….

Here are a few guidelines (I won’t call them rules although you know they are) to ensure a smooth and argument free month:

1. Plz don’t say it’s just a game because it’s not!

2. Plz limit or avoid walking during matches

3. The remote control remains with me all the time

4. You support the team I support. Not the team that has guys you think are cute

5. Kindly place your phone on silent

6. *Never, ever walk in front of the TV while am watching a match!*

7. World Cup is played by countries only so plz don’t ask me which team is Arsenal

8. Finally, highlights are considered as important as the match itself, so yes I must watch the highlights as well!!

Thanks in advance, I look forward to your cooperation and your utter silence.

Sincerely yours,

——————
signature & date

No matter how fast the taxi driver is going . There’s always that person who is in a hurry more than the driver when the driver over takes you’ll hear them say mxm to show that the driver is doing nothing

Once you realise that your wife is: beautiful,
has a great figure,
is intelligent,
gets things done on her own,
drives a car well,
has very little expectations,
is not materialistic
and
loves you with crazy devotion…

The whiskey you have consumed is of the best quality…..

Marrying a lady aged above 30yrs old is like buying a newspaper in the evening!