2 tips for happy married life….._

– *Keep quiet when your Wife is talking.*
– *Don’t talk when your Wife is quiet.*

– _Husband Association._

Colleagues Bill,Jim and Scott are attending a convention together and staying in a Hotel suit on the top of a 75-storey skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they’re shocked to hear the lifts in their hotel are out of order and that they have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill says to Jim and Scott ”lets break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concestrating on something intresting i’ll tell jokes for 25 storeys,Jim can sing songs for 25 and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stops telling jokes and Bill begins to sing. At 51th floor Jim stops singing and Scott begins to tell sad stories ”I’LL TELL MY SADDEST STORY FIRST” I LEFT OUR ROOM KEY AT THE RECEPTION

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it’s a beaver, Johnny.”
The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know what that is🍑. It’s a beaver, but I think grandma’s is dead because it’s tongue is hanging out

Teacher: Jack, Go to the map and find North America.

Jack: Here it is

Teacher: Good Jack. Now class who discovered North America?

Class: Jack.

When u try to apologize to your 2001 girlfriend
Babe I’m so sorry
Her:mxm Buzz off ….dont talk to me talk to my lawyer

Ladies
Never say all he wanted was sex when all you can offer him is sex……..
Did you try giving him your father’s land and he refused?????

Nelson Mandela has changed his
profile picture on the South African money

MAN: Marry me?
WOMAN: Do you have a flat?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: Do you have a Camry car?
MAN: No.
WOMAN: How much is your salary?
MAN: No salary, but I…
WOMAN: No but! You have nothing. How can I marry you? Leave please before I open eyes for you!
MAN: But I have one estate, 3 landed properties in GRA, 3 Ferraris, 2 Porsches and 2 G wagons. Why do I still need to buy a Camry? How can I be paid salary when actually I’m the BOSS?
WOMAN: That’s why I told you to leave, cause am coming to your house myself to propose to you.

I paid R4000 entrance fee at the zoo
but they don’t allow me to hug a Lion

While examining a female patient, Doctor tells
her:“Your heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now
let me see that cute little thing which gets you
ladies into all kinds of trouble.Woman
immediately started taking off her jeans and
underwear.Doc shocked said:“No! No! Please put
on your clothes. Just show me your tongue…

Why Can’t Trees Give Off Something Useful 😕 ,
Like Wi-Fi ?

To my unborn kids Daddy is not the one delaying ,
Its Mummy she is still busy following guys on Facebook