It’s funny how ladies think they can do everything that a man can do…. like seriously can you wear the same underwear for seven days

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING ….

Stolen:

I sent R1000 to a wrong number using ewallet

After realizing this, Icalmed down and sent him/her this text message:

“Hello Dear, I hope you got the membership welcome fee of R1000 to our Satanism Church. We are glad and looking forward to having you with us.

That is just the beginning of the richest life you are about to start living. We hope you are as excited to be joining our church as we are. As I just said, that is a
welcome salary.

We are having a meeting tonight whereby we will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the start of this month. Please invite over any female person you may be close to. Lets meet tonight at 8pm at YOUR PLACE.

If you haven’t shown any interest in our church and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send the money back to this number otherwise welcome to our Church. See you tonight.”

10 Minutes later, I got a message saying send another R1000 my friend is also interested’.

I fainted, people are so broke these days.

When you put that ring on my finger,
you put a chain of death around my heart.

You’ll be having good time with your bae then baby mama will just call🙄be like: “Your child swallowed a shovel..!”

When U Buy Your Girlfriend Phone And Another Man Buy Her An Airtime, It Is Called “Division Of Labour”. Wen U Buy Ur Girlfriend Underwear Nd Another Man Removes It, That Is Called “Separation Of Power”. Wen U Pay Ur Girlfriend Fees And Another Man Pays Her House Rent, It Is Called, “Combined Business”. Wen Ur Girlfriend Says She Is Nt Ready For Sex And Another Man Gets Her Pregnant, Pls, What Will U Call That?

There’s no WAY that goes to Heaven that allows you to do what seems to be right on your eyes or what you wish.

i Hate How You Are Just Born Out Of No Where And Be Forced To Go To School And Get A Job 😠😡

What if i Wanted To Be A Duck ?

Nyaa came from school and dancing.
His father wondered what made so happy and decided to ask.
Dad : Son I have never seen you in this mood for a
while now…..any good news u want to share?
Nyaa : Dad next year you won’t be buying any textbook, notebooks and writing materials…..
Dad : That’s my son, why …. did you win a Scholarship?
Nyaa : No! Dad I’m repeating the same class

If we date, I’m pushing you to become a better you. I’m on your neck about your money, education, your future, your goals. You are not about to get distracted by being in a relationship with me. My goal is to elevate your mind and prosper with you.

They called me at Police station and they said
someone opened a case for me.
Father God I am praying
I hope it’s the case of Heineken or Castle Lite.

16 December_Home
25 December_Home
26 December_Home
31 December _Home

KINDS OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK:
1. THE UNHEALTHY: They always have
stomach ache, headache, back ache etc.
Facebook is not a clinic.
2. THE LIARS: Lie about their age, marital
status and use ridiculous names like Baby,
Awesome ,Angel, Dude, Miss pee, boo ,
Man, blah blah!!
3. THE WITCHES: They always like updating
about death, bad news and sickness.
4. THE TRAVELERS: Today in America,
tomorrow heading to Italy or South Africa,
next All over The country! Are you a
minister for tourism?
5. WEATHER FORECASTERS: They update
mostly when it is raining, cold or hot e.g
‘I’m freezing’ etc
6. PREACHERS: This are mostly single men/
ladies who are looking for a spouse. They
act holy and write Bible verses only on
Sundays and Fridays or on festival day.
7. THE CONFUSED: They are married today,
engaged tomorrow, next day in an open
relationship, in a complicated relationship,
single or divorced.
8. THE FIGHTERS: All they do is to seek
trouble on people’s post, they comment
awkwardly in order to start a fight.
9. THE (I Too Know): They will always
complain that u’re always online, they will
say; are you jobless? Sometimes u can’t sop
wondering what they are doing online
themselves. Seriously, man get a life and
stop face booking.
10. THE DESPERATE. They are always
posting pictures of them in different cars
claiming car owners and always updating
themselves in different hotels and
eateries…damn…are they car dealer or
Hotel room attendant?
11. THE PEACE MAKERS: These people are
very friendly and they appreciate peoples
effort, they say thank you if they read your
post and smile.
Note: These people are usually very rare to
find.
12. AND FINALLY THE HATERS: They will
never like or comment on your posts except when they have something negative to say about you or your posts. Or u put up an update which says you are “sad, heartbroken or in Pain”.
I mean they wont even Like this post..
e.g that’s a stolen post WTF, did i say i own it?

After i Give Advice , i Always End My Sentence With
“i Don’t Know Though” ..
So That You Can Never Say i Ruined Your Life