A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.
“It’s not my fault,” I said, “Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that?” he laughed.
I said, “I’ll prove it to you if you want me to!”
“Go on then.” he smiled, handing me the bag.
After flushing them, he looked at me and said, “Well, show me your pocket then.”
“What for?” I asked.
He said, “The drugs.”
I said, “What drugs?”

I texted my crush ‘ BAE’ and she responded
replace dat ‘A’ with Y

ATTENTION!!!!!!!!
Door to Door HIV Test from 11 June 2018. ..
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Some of us will take a long walk going zimbabwe, Lesotho, Namibia or Botswana just to miss the test

I Don’t Know how Old You Are But You Need To Grow Up In Order To Understand That A Relationship Without Money💰 Doesn’t Go Anywhere..! ☝

After She Broke Up With A Venda Guy, She
Start Posting Shit Like “He Left A hole In My
Heart That Nobody Will Fill up”
Hold It ryt There Sister, We Know That hole
You Are Talking About We Are Not Kids

If u have problem with ur man dont come
online and make other ladies think all men
are dogs, carry ur own dog to the vet

It’s too early to stress about love .Just
stress about your qualifications

Yesterday i dreamt eating 2kg of marshmallows,
Today when I woke up i noticed that my pillow is missing.
*

When you’ve put your friends on speaker and you tell them
you with Your Bae and they ask WHICH ONE??

Imagine The Government Passing A New Law That All Beautiful Ladies And Handsome Boys Will Be Paying “Beauty Tax” I Know You’re Smiling Because You are Safe

My boss thinks I am a fool. 😢
Yesterday he sent me to buy 2kg of sugar but I only found 1kg at the shops so I didn’t buy.😌
I went back to the office & told him that they only had 1kg. Very pissed at me😡, he asked me why I didn’t use my brain and buy two 1kg packs to make a total of 2kg.😒
Today he sent me to buy a pair of Size 8 slippers but I only found Size 4. This time I used my brain and bought 2 😀pairs of Size 4 to make Size 8. I took them to him & he told me to wait outside.
I can see him typing.
I guess it’s a promotion letter

How many slices of cheese
must i eat for me to be cheeseboy?

Wow I can’t believe that all this time I’ve been wasting my time eating meat and soft drinks😒..
when I can eat cabbage and drink water..which is delicious and very healthy Shem😍

Every girl did this: “chomi, call him
and tell
him that I’m crying”

The Only Advice I’m Getting From My Friends These Days is 👇
“Dude You Need To Find A Girlfriend”