Buying data is what’s stopping us
from becoming millionaires
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, “Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?” “None,” replied Johnny, “cause the rest would fly away.” “Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher, “but I like the way you’re thinking.”
Little Johnny says, “I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?”
“Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the one sucking the cone.”
“No,” said Little Johnny, “the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you’re thinking.”
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Poor Old Guy
A man in his 50’s buys a beautiful pair of shoes on his way home from work. When he gets home he asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says no. At bed time he gets completely naked except for his new shoes and again asks his wife if she notices anything different about him. She says well let’s see you’ve got the same old useless cock hangin limp as usual.
He says look at where it’s “pointing”. I bought new shoes!
His wife then says “you should have bought a new hat!
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i Just Met A Lady Who’s Name is “Nomshado” And i Am Asking Myself What Was Going Through Her Parents’s Minds When They Named Her
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When bae helps you with your school assignment
and then you get zero (0%)
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We the National Association of Husbands
And Boyfriends’ (NAHAB), wish to announce
our annual 3 days strike which will commence
on 13 FEB and end on 16 FEB.
Please note; our cellphones will not
be working during the strike & our
relationship commitments will commence
on the 17 FEB, we apologise for any
inconvenience to our wives & girlfrends
who were hoping to be with us on valentines day.
So, wats yo response? Is it:
(a) Viva NAHAB viva!!!! or
(b)
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Gent’s I’m sorry but I think it’s time they Knew Now ……
Ladies , Every guy twerks Naked in front of a mirror when he’s alone
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One Day A Man Was Driving Fast, And He Got Pulled Over By A Police Officer.
Officer: “What’s Your Excuse For Going Over The Speed Limit?”
Man In Hurry: “I’m Sorry Officer, But It’s A Matter Of Life And Death”
Officer: “What Do You Mean”
Man: “You See Officer, There’s A Woman Waiting For My At My House And I Have To Go To Her”
Officer: “That’s Not A Death Matter”
Man: “It Will Be, If My Wife Gets There First“
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If you ask a girl “How are you?”& she replies
“I am not fine” don’t ask her why?
Its a trap! Just tell her “May God be with you
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I tried all my best to convince this girl on facebook to visit me but she always told me that she was very busy. Her profile pictures were always tempting me and everything she did on social media was very good to me that i decided to take it to another level at my own experience …Hope you know what i mean. So at last i managed to take her number and i called her immediately to confirm if it was really her. We talked for a long time and later i discovered that she was living not far from my place. I then said to myself, “this is my opportunity which i have never had and never shall i have in future”. She promised me that she will visit me the following week Thursday. But that Thursday was too far to me. Thursday finally came, i called her around 7:30 just to confirm if she was indeed coming to my place. After she had confirmed that she was coming, i started putting everything inorder.I bought expensive perfumes, expensive food and 8 condoms. Around 9pm she knocked on my door. She was looking sooo sexy . . . I was more than happy after i saw how she was looking and ……….. My dear brothers and Sisters, see how you are serious reading this story. . ……. . I wish you can learn how to read your Bible like this….. . I bet ,God will like it and be happy other than reading a lot of stories which won’t help you. If it were a biblical message, you’d have stopped immediately. God bless you
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If salt can sell more than fruits without an advert,
you can get a good husband without going naked on social media
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I Will Never Fight Another Guy For A Girl,
I Will Rather Fight For Rice And Meat At the Funeral
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Some people will say Africa is not united, our countries went to the world cup together and came back together. So which unity is more than that???
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A woman goes to her bank with a cheque from her husband.
The cashier tells her it has to be endorsed,
so she writes on the back, ‘My husband is a wonderful man
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Don’t be a boring girlfriend my
sister.Sometimes take his phone and delete
all female contacts and wait for a fight.
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A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. Phiri, I am going
hunting tomorrow. I dont want to close the clinic. I
want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients. Yes, sir! answers phiri.
The doctor
goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: So, phiri, how was your day? Phiri told
him that he took care of three patients.The first one
had a headache so I gave him Panadol. Bravo, and
the second one? asks the doctor. The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Flagyl, sir.
says phiri Bravo, bravo! Youre good at this and
what about the third one? asks the doctor.
Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door
opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she
undressed herself,and lied down on the table. She
spread her legs and shouted: HELP ME! For five
years I have not seen any man!
Lord Jesus! Phiri, what did you do? asks the
doctor.
. .
PHIRI: I put eye-drops in her eyes, I think by now she’s able to see a man
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