Lady’s who cook at funerals
kopela juice ya lona ebe sweet nyana tuu…

Mina ngo 67min kaMandela day nakhu engizimisele ngukukwenza:

1.Ngizolungisa indlu yegagu, kunini yanetha bakwethu?

2.Ngizosiza Izimbila njengoba zizobe zithutha I’m sure zizobe zisindwa.

3.Ngzohamba ngiyolanda lendoda eyashaya uNomathemba ngifuna ichaze yayishayelani ingane.

4.Ngizobheka leliPhela elaluma uNano eyoboleka uphondo.

5.Ngizothenga leskhathi esadliwa yinja.

6.Ngizonikeza ijuba imali yokugibela mase beyolichutha phambili,lingafiki selikhathele.

7.Ngizothengela ikati umbhede,kunini lalala eziko sekuyazwela manje.

8.Ngizobe ngipholisa amaseko.

9.Ngizonicelela ukubona uDriver wakaKhumbul’ekhaya.

10.Ngizohamba ngiyobheka lomuzi onotshwala okuhlezi kuthiwa uzokhonjwa.

11.Ngizosula utshwala obugayiwe njengoba kuthiwa buchitheka bugayiwe.

12.Ngizofuna umuntu esohlangana naye eskhaleni kwaNtombela.

13.Ngizomanzisa imbhenge ukuze abazoyikhatha bangagqilazeki ngokuyikhotha yomile.

14.Ngzohamba ngiyobheka amagwababa lapho achobanela khona.

15.Ngizohamba ngiyosiza amagwababa echobana I’m sure khona eselikhathele.

Yikho engizokwenza ngosuku lokuzalwa kukaTata Mandela.

My White NEIGHBOUR has been standing on my fence shouting …… “Michael Wayne …. Michael Wayne … Michael Wayne” for the past hour. ……… Only to find out now that she was trying to say MAKHELWANE

Her: babe sekuza mina phezulu
Me: wake walibona ikhekhe lisika umese

Wellcome to the Bible:
Yini kodwa lento kaMaria yokuthandala noJosefa kodwa akhuleliswe nguMoya ongcwele bese ezala iNdodana kaDavide?

Ikhansela uDambuza ephendula izikhalazo zomphakathi:
–
*Sifuna izindlu zamahhala.
Dambuza: “Nidakiwe, nizalwa yimi yini?”
–
*Sifuna ama-toilet.
Dambuza: “Nithe nilambile nganinika ama-food parcel, senisuthi senifuna ukunyela kimi futhi?”
–
*Sifuna imisebenzi.
Dambuza: “Angazi-ke nizoyithathaphi ngoba nami ngiqashwe yini.”
–
*Le mali yeqolo incane.
Dambuza: “Zalani khona izokwanda.”
–
*Sifuna izimayini ziphathwe umphakathi.
Dambuza: “Njengoba nihluleka ukuzimbela ama-toilet, nizozenzani-ke izimayini? Tshelani mina.”
–
*Sifuna ukuphatha ama-bank.
Dambuza: “Senikhathele ukuyeba, senifuna ukuyithatha nginibuka?”
–
*Sifuna uphume kungene uRazor.
Dambuza: “Unithembiseni uRazor ngoba seba naye lowo?”
–
*Sifuna umhlaba ubuyele kubantu.
Dambuza: “Nidakiwe, ungathi amagceke enu enihlula!”
–
*Uma ungafuni sowushisa lo muzi wakho.
Dambuza: “Anginamuzi mina, ngiqashile la!”

Yati lesinye skhatsi senta ma jokes sicabange kutsi a funny Kani sitenta tilima nje

Guy : hey dear…
Girl :hey…
Guy :u Right ?
Girl : yes u…?
Guy :am cool..ubani igama lakho ?
Girl : elika Facebook,Mxit or elamampela?
Guy : elamampela dear..
Girl : nick name or elikwi I.D ?
Guy : elikwi I.D
Girl :1st name or second ?
Guy : mxm! Vele undinike i number
yakho ke…
Girl : account number,I.D number or
cell number ?
Guy : nditsho i cell number.
Girl : eka MTN,Cell C okanye u
Vodacom ?
Guy : MTN dear
Girl : 073,078 or 083 ?
Guy : 078…
Girl : ndiknike le ye Nokia okanye eye blackberry or eye sumsang ?
Guy : ndinike eye black berry girl…
Girl : torch,curve or i bold ?
Guy : (pissed) hay suka yeka maan
xa ungafuni sfebe
Girl : manje ukwatile or awuna
air time?
(gilikiqi phansi the guy “collapsed)…
Girl : owh!…yini manje ukhathele
uyalala noma ufile ?