Panya watatu walikua wakibishana nani Ni noma zaidi
Panya 1: jamani mimi ni noma Wiki hii nimekula rat rat(sumu ya panya) mara tatu na sijadedi !!!
Panya 2 Wewe unasema nini, mimi nimekula nyama ikiwa
kwa mtego mara 5 nasijawahi dakwa
RAT 3 Mmemaliza? Mie hata sijui mnabishana nini? Mimi hii mimba niliyo nayo ni ya paka !!!
.
.Panya WA 1 na 2 wakazimia😆😆😆😆😆
Panya wa 3 huwa hapendi ujinga kabisa
😁😁😁😂😂😂

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Uko njiani pekee yako usiku Mara unaona mtu mbele unaharakisha mwendane na yeye mnafika sehemu inayotisha Mara unasikia akisema….”mahali hapa tumefka ndo nliuawa”manze apo ndo utajua hujui😁😁😁😁😁😁

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karibu kenya place unabuy maziwa imelala 35 while fresh 20 bob

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Today a preacher in a public bus started preaching… “Leo nataka kuwasomea barua ya Paulo kwa Warumi”

A drunk man at the back asked him… “Kwa nini utusomee na sisi sio Warumi… Na kwanza nani amekwambia ufungue barua ya wenyewe???”

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asiye funzwa na mamaye babake ni mwalimu

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Kuna dem aliniita home kwake akasema anataka nyama kwa nyama. Nikamwambia cna doo labda ugali kwa mayai. Bado ajatext back ni kama akona alargy ya mayai. Ebu nipe advice

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Some ladies will be there like..”I have inner beauty” my sister, kwani wewe ni mutura☹

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Ma sister, imagine walking in heaven and all the kids you aborted be like:
“Jesu nangu lo”

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nimeiba kipimo cha mimba hosiptli nkajuwa ni flashi
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Her: Yoyaah Arfoza
Meh: Yoyaah
Her: Manjet
Meh: Man ni mtu na jet ni ndege

One word for Arfoza

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WELCOME TO KENYA
Where people leave as they return
“acha niende ivi nakam”….
Where the husband huitwa baby and the son huitwa baba…
Where you don’t need to go to Masai Mara to see a hyena.They are seated right next to you.!…
This is Kenya;
where a young man is called Babu Owino and an old man is called Kijana Wamalwa,nkt!
Only in Kenya where Wafula hangs on a chopper in broad daylight but denies it in court and the cops asks for time to investigate..
Where after a four hour conversation someone, as he says goodbye…tells you, “wee tutaongea.!”
Only in Kenya where you board a matatu with five people only to realise you were actually the first one, hao wengine walikua wa “kujaza”.
Only in Kenya where u pray with ur eyes open coz ur pocket can be a blessing to somebody you don’t expect.
“Where you eat Githeri and become famous and your life changes just like that.”
Where Girls handbags carry everything
necessary for sleepover except their
fare back home…
Where Men phones are like onions. If their
wives touch and look they shed tears…
Where Dark skin ladies wear black
crop_tops and red tights only to look
like pliers..
where money is like HIV, everyone claims not to have it…
Where People think of sex when it rains
instead of farming..
Where Every man approaching a lady claims
not to be a fisi..
Where Ladies bleach and forget the joints,
they end up looking like sugarcane..
Where You are forced to type ‘Amen’ on
Facebook else undisclosed calamity
befalls you..
Where You buy your chick panties your
neighbor removes them..
Whre A Kenyan girl will still ask you,
“umeniletea nini” hata kama umetoka
kwa jela..
Where Once you tell a lady that you love
her you already owe her some money..
Where Someone lies to over 40 million
Kenyans eti Eeh Mungu Nguvu Yetu
means Ooh God of all creation…
Where Yesu Nipe Nyonyo and Tiga Wana
are gospel hit songs while Mungu
Pekee is considered a secular song..
Where When you meet a lady who does
not ask for your money you think it is a
set up..
Where You have unprotected sex then get
into the car and wear safety belt like
you didn’t try to kill yourself a moment..

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Hakika umefanyika bubujiko la nafsi yangu na kunifanya kuwa wakipekee kwako also all in all when i’m feel in love i see you my love

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penda anae kupenda asiye kupenda achana nae

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