Your boyfriend who failed mathematics is complaining
about you having stretch marks.
Tell him that those are the only marks he will get
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A fat man saw an advertisement: “Lose 5Kg In A Week”⚠
He called and said: “I would like to join”😕
The girl said: “ok, be ready tomorrow at 6 am”😐
The next morning he got to the office and was taken to a room …he opened the door and found a hot babe wearing only shirt and pant😋
She said: “If you can catch me…you can sleep with me!”😉… the man started running after her but couldn’t catch her😩…During the whole week he tried to catchher but he couldn’t and he lost 5 Kg…
He then asked for the 10Kg program…The next morning at 6 am, he opened the door and found hotter babe wearing a bikini👙…she said: “If you can catch me, you will sleep with me…” He lost 10Kg that week…
So he thought that this program was awesome…He then requested for a 25kg program…The girl asked: “Are u sure??…it is really tough!!”😐
The man said: “Why not?”💪
The next day he opened the door expecting to see a naked girl but found a naked man who said: “If i catch you, i will sleep with you!”😀
That week the man lost 40Kg
INSPECTOR : Good afternoon sir, may I see your TV licence?
Thami : I don’t have a TV, that means I don’t have a licence.
INSPECTOR : But I saw an aerial on top of your rooftop?
Thami : Inspector please come in.
(Thami opens the fridge and points to the jar of milk)
Thami : Inspector, what is this?
INSPECTOR : How can you ask me such a silly question, it’s a jar of milk.
Thami : Does that mean I have cows in my yard?!
.
.
One word for Thami
I really Enjoy Looking at someone cool n dashing..
But when I get Tired.. I put the mirror down!!
*THERE IS TOMORROW*
Whenever you are dealing with people, you must always remember that there is tomorrow and you might need them tomorrow.
You may end up needing help from the people who are asking for your help today so help them.
Life is like a moving wheel, sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down. Sometimes we destroy the bridges that we might need to help us cross back tomorrow.
Sometimes we treat people as though there is never going to be tomorrow. We sometimes act as though we will never need help from any one. Remember there’s tomorrow.
Joseph helped the cupbearer in prison and later the cupbearer connected Joseph with Pharaoh. Imagine how Portiphar’s wife felt when she heard that Joseph was now the Governor of Egypt after she had falsely accused him. The brothers who sold Joseph away ended up being fed by him. Don’t ever think of going to the extreme with your offenders, they might be rescuers tomorrow.
Always remember there is tomorrow and it will surely come.
The little help you give to people today, will profit you tomorrow.
May the good Lord touch your heart to live your life as if there is tomorrow.
*Good Morning!!!*
When someone is so sweet to u, don’t expect that they will be like that all the time because even the sweetest chocolate expires.
Love is sweet when u are in love
with the right person
Stop making people feel ashamed for not
going to church. Respect other people’s
beliefs and laziness.
There is no market for your sorrow in this world,
So never advertise them.”
There’s nothing as heavy like a packet of cond**s after buying them and she switch off her phone.It feels like you’re carrying a sack of cement…
Some Of Us Have Nothing Negative To Talk About Our Ex’s,🤷♂
•
We Were The Problem
if you want to know if you have mouth odour
watch out for this 3 signs
1: when people start giving you toothpaste as
birthday gift
2: when you always win every argument
3: when you easily separate fight, once you
meet 2people fighting and you shout hey will u
stop fighting?
And they ran away and say brada is because of you
If you need the nearest and cheapest guesthouse ask married men💍
they always know these things..
If you don`t want me to cross the line, then don`t draw one.
Some Girls be like: “I can’t date a broke guy” but if you can see their bedrooms, even Responsible Rats🐀🐁 will not live there..!
A woman called the police station
one evening
and said, “My husband has gone out
with a
girlfriend and right now am going
after them . I
have a gun and when I find them, I
will kill both
them right away “. The police
asked, “Where
exactly have they gone ?”. Woman
:They went to
watch a certain Comedian show .
The police
rushed quickly and went to the
place and make
sure they arrived earlier than the
woman . When
they reached the place , they took
the mic from
the Comedian and start announcing,
“If there is a
married man here and has come with
a
girlfriend ,you must leave
immediately. Your wife
is coming right now with a gun to shoot
both of
you dead “. The police were
surprised that the
door became small as everyone was
running out
and the show ended because even the
Comedian
himself ran out