Thanks to social distance
I’m tired of those who sleeps on my shoulder at taxi
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Winners lose much more often than losers.
So if you keep losing but you’re still trying,
keep it up! You’re right on track.
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Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said: “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said: “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.”
The third said: “You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she can’t see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks. “William,” she said, “the house you built is so huge. I live only in one room, but I have to clean the whole house.
“Arnold,” she said, “I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And that driver is so rude! He’s a pain!”
“But David,” she said, “the chicken was delicious!”
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Judge: “Where do you work?”
Defendant: “Here and there.”
Judge: “What do you do for a living?”
Defendant: “This and that.”
Judge: “Take him away.”
Defendant: “Wait; when will I get out?”
Judge: “Sooner or later.”
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Don’t advertise your happiness on social
media.
Don’t advertise your happy marriage On
social media.
Don’t advertise your holidays on social
media.
Don’t advertise your kids achievements
on social media.
Don’t advertise your pregnancy on social
media.
Don’t advertise your expensive buys on
social media. (Car, house etc)
No one is going to be happy for you.
all the “nice” comments you get are just
fake.
you just attracting the evil eye on you &
your family.
you just attracting jealous people into
your life.
you don’t know who’s saving your
pictures & checking your updates.
you really need to Stop this as it is going
to ruin your life, family, marriage.
social media , if not used responsibly , can
be the devils eyes, ears & mouth, don’t fall
into the devils trap.
May God help us & save us from social media
disaster !!!
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When my side chick don’t wanna remove my name on her bio:
.
Me: I asked you so nice dear now i’m calling my lawyer
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I feel so sorry for women who get married to teachers..instead of finding money/coins in the pocket when washing their clothes.
They usually find chalk or list of Noise makers
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I want you more than anything else I could get. I’d give it all up and start a new life just to be with you. Because that’s what I want, I want the rest of my life to be with you. Isn’t that crazy.
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Sing Like No One’s Listening, Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt, Dance Like Nobody’s Watching, And Live Like it’s Heaven On Earth
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I have worked hard for my money,
that’s why my girlfriend is jetting off to Brazil to do her hair.
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An Aeroplane cleaner was cleaning
the pilot’s cockpit when he saw a
book titled, “HOW TO FLY AN
AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS.
Volume 1
He opened the 1st page which said: “To start the engine,
press the red button..” He did
so, and the airplane engine
started.. He was happy and
opened the next page…: “To get the airplane moving, press the blue button..” He did so and the plane
started moving at an amazing
speed… He wanted to fly, so he
opened the 3rd page which said:
“To let airplane fly, please press
the green button..” He did so and the plane started to fly…He was excited…!!
After 20 minutes of
flying, he was satisfied and
wanted to land so he decided to
go to the 4th page… and page 4
says; “To be able to know how to land a plane, please purchase
Volume 2 at the nearest book shop! ”
He will be buried tomorrow.
never attempt anything without complete information
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Love is the only thing that will save us, independent of any mistakes we may make. Love is always stronger
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if you’re bathing and someone mistakenly enters the bathroom
,
what will you hide first
Me: my Soap
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Some guys are very successful
because they have more than one girl praying for them,
prayer points in many locations
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This is Satafrica
Where a nurse wakes u up just to gve you a sleeping pills
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Do unto other wat u expect others do unto u
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