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Why is a elephant so wrinkled
because there to hard to iron

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A Zimbabwean policeman stops at a ranch in rural Mvurwi and talks with an old farmer.

He tells the farmer, ‘I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.’ The old farmer says, ‘Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.’ The policeman verbally explodes saying,
‘Mister, I have the authority of the State with me.’ Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his ID. The policeman proudly displays it to the farmer. ‘See this ID? This ID means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’

The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the police running for his life and close behind is the farmer’s bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The police is clearly terrified. The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..

“Your ID! SHOW HIM YOUR ID!”

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*If Only guys can handle girls hearts the way they handle bet tickets, Relationships would be better.*.

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She told me that she can’t visit men.
So I asked, are u a virgin? She said no, then I asked but how you lose your virginity? She blocked me🤦🏽‍♂️

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How I sneeze in front of my crush…
Heee Tsingle,Heee Tsiavailable, Tsingle Tsingle

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If you shake your fist, the other guy will shake his too. But if you extend your hand to shake their hand, then they will extend theirs also, and you’ve made a friend.

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EVERY time my phone vibrates, I hops it’s you

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Nothing increases your blood pressure
than a Rich guy that wants your girlfriend

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I AM A WOMAN!!! –

So what?
I get into an argument with a man, he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.

I get into an argument with a man, I slap him, they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet, I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
Because I am a woman, I don’t have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my silence in the face of oppression and brutality…..

Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ”it is in their nature to cheat, I should slim down, dress better, cook better, pray harder and be more pleasant to him”

I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home, I am an irresponsible mother.

So I am sent packing, from the home we both built, with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head. I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children, I’m lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is “after-three”, because I am a woman.

He is 28 and runs a company. He’s tagged wonderful, hardworking, focused, career oriented, successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company ” Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler, loves money, let her go and get a husband oh”
And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person’s gender.

Because I am a woman,
I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant, professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.

Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, “a runs girl”. They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.
Because I am a woman.

A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he’s being praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.

A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, “ahhh! so early? Are u sure she wasn’t sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband. She’s a witch! ” Because she’s a woman.

Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.
But don’t forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!!
Share to respect some woman.

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Grade 12 students
Don’t throw Those t-shirts/Trousers away
You might be a security Guard next year

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If I post a joke and you Lough just know we are in a relationship I can’t be making people girlfriend’s happy here

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That happy moment
when your friend returns your money
after you have almost forgot about it..

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Good friends are gift from God bcuz even when u make their life miserable and unhappy they still stay with u and never give up on u , just bcuz they have d best thought about u which is u’re NOT PERFECT. LOVE U FRIEND.

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Sometimes you have to travel back in time,
skirting the obstacles, in order to love someone.

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Controlling anger is very important.
One guy got so upset with his girlfriend and reported her to his wife.

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If your man starts bathing more than twice in a week,
just know that he is cheating

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