When you tell your parent a funny story
then it turns into a life lesson

My brother don’t feel sad when these
Facebook gals don’t reply your inbox,
most of them can’t read

Stop complaining about fake friends 😅u are old now👵👴go to work..stay at home..read books..eat and watch TV. listen to music also my dear ul never hear that fridge and microwave gossip about you🙄

Her: “Can a pregnancy drink beer if nine months is not arrived?”
.
Me: “Forget about the beer, this type of English can cause miscarriage!”

I don’t care if it’s fake account or not, all I know it’s that I enjoy chatting with Rihanna today I even send her mtn

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and 60 inch plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

Girlfriend:Can I have your pic.
Me:Check my profile pic.
Girlfriend:There’s a car.
Me:Open the car u will see me sitting in the car.

Smoke causes * CANCER *
..
Alcohol Cause *DANCER *