She made me choose between
Alcohol and her Sometimes I miss her yaz

When you thought you’re done washing the dishes
and you turn around to see those pots on stove!

Having a Female bestie is cool
until She gets a Boyfriend

One day I will have 2 men on my bed. One
will say “good morning sweetie” and the
other will say “wake up mummy it’s a
beautiful day”
.
.
Oh you’ve started thinking of another
thing again , you’ll not make it in heaven

Guys that wear suit on their profile are stingy!!!!
Ladies are we together…..

The difference between Oo and oO

Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.
The judge says, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance instead of jail time.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use.
I’ll see you back in court Monday.
“On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, “How did you do over the weekend?
“”Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever.
“”Seventeen people? That’s wonderful. How did you do it? ”
“I used a diagram, your honor.
I drew two circles like this: O o.
Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”
“That’s admirable,” says the judge.
Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”
“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”
“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”
“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says.
“I drew two circles like this: o O.
Then I pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your a**hole before prison………………”

Girls with bipolar can text you
“bye” then get mad if you don’t reply

There is a blonde driving on the highway. Her husband
calls her on his cell phone and in a worried voice says;
Honey, be careful please! I just heard on the radio that there
is a crazy driver, driving the wrong way on Route 90
Woman says; I know, but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!

Women DM first all the time,
you just haven’t experienced it because you’re ugly

Our Father
Who art in Valentine’s day
Hallow be thy dates
Thy Gifts and Kisses
Thy will be handed out
As we watch pure sadness
Give us the luck
Find the date’s before 14th
And forgive us for rejecting other kids
As we forgive those who shapa us with Stena
Lead us not into single world
Deliver us from cheating
For thy is the reason
Wr stay single forever and ever AMEN

I kissed a girl until she was wet and she asked me for xxx … •But i told her i haven’t finished my 6weeks of male circumcision -You know why i did that? •Because girls also lie to us and say they on their periods while they’re not