Sing Like No One’s Listening, Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt, Dance Like Nobody’s Watching, And Live Like it’s Heaven On Earth
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My girlfriend said I must delete my Facebook account or
she’s leaving me
So I’ll be back guys; let me help her pack her bags
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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
“Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very closely:
“Are – my – test – results – back?”
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You can only lose something that you have
but you can’t lose something that you are.
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Shoutout to my school teacher who said
I’m going to end up being a taxi conductor…
Tomorrow’s my 1st day
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Hey My Sisters
If You Want Drama In Your Life ,
Date A Guy Who Doesn’t Drink Alcohol.. He Drinks Girls
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” I was hanging out on streets
smoking some dope weed around
23:30. I decided to go home but it
was far and there were no taxis at
that time of night. I decided to
walk while hiking rides. It started
to rain and suddenly a BMW
stopped by my side I quictly
jumped into the passenger’s seat
and close the door then of started
moving and as i was about to say
” thank you” to the driver, i
discovered that there was no body
in the car. I started to freak out
but was so scared to jump out of
a moving car. When the car got to
the bend,a hand came thru the
window and turned the steering
wheel, this happens twice then the
third time i totaly freaked out
screaming ran for my life, I entered
the nearest bar downing two milk
castle stout and still telling ghost
storie to those who cared to listen.
3 guys walked in the very same
bar all drenched in rain water, one
of them said Nok’s isn’t that the
mad person who enterd the car
while we were pushing it?
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Weather storms are like women,
when they come they are wet and wild
but when they leave they take your house and car.
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Just because things are not good now does not mean
they will be that way forever.
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When someone talks about LOVE
I think about YOU.
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-You Dont Understand
And
I Cant Explain .. ‘
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The wife checked her husband’s phone and found these names:
– The tender one
– The amazing one
– Lady of my dreams
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother. Then she called the second number on which his sister replied . When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!
She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole months salary to make up for it.
Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as “Ghafoor mechanic”
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Test for Gossip: When people come to me with Gossip about you.. this is how I will deal with it.
if someone comes to me and says, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”
“Hold on a minute,” I will say. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” I will continued. “Before you talk to me about m
y friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” is the most likely answer I will get, “Actually I just heard about it and …”
“All right,” I will say. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” I will continue, “you want to tell me something bad about him/her, but you’re not certain it’s true. You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really …”
“Well,” I will conclude, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me in the first place?”
I hope you will do the same for me my friend …
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You are bathing and someone mistakenly open your door,,*
*what will you hide,,,,,,,*
*Me::i will hide my soap
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Don’t cry in love. Because for whom you are crying,
does not deserve your tears. And the person who deserves it,
will never let you cry.
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Very important health tips: don’t eat
burgers, pizzas, chat, ice cream & chocolate
Without ME!
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