You’d never invite a thief in your house..
So why would you allow thoughts that steal your joy
to make themselves at home in your mind?

The guy who taught men that putting one’s tongue
in a woman’s ear is romantic
must be found and put to jail for life.

There was this guy at a bar , just
looking at his drink . He stays like
that for half an hour,
Then, this big trouble-making
truck driver step next to him ,
takes the drink from the guy and
just drink it all, The poor man
started crying. The truck driver
says, “Come on man, i was just
joking. Here, I will buy you
another drink, i just can’t stand
to see a man cry.
“NO it is not that.This day is the
worst day of my life, first i fall
asleep and go late my office, my
boss outrageous fires me, when i
left my building to my car, i found
out it was stolen, the police said
they can do nothing . I got a cab
to return home, and when i left
it, i remembered i forgot my
wallet and credit cards there, the
cab driver just drove away.
I got home and found my wife in
bed with a gardener. I left home
to this bar, and when i was
thinking about putting an end to
my life, you showed up, UYANGIPHAPHELA and u
drink my poison…

We haven’t forgotten that 90’s girls used to have music book’s with
wrong lyrics..! ☝

A Zimbabwean policeman stops at a ranch in rural Mvurwi and talks with an old farmer.

He tells the farmer, ‘I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.’ The old farmer says, ‘Okay, but don’t go in that field over there.’ The policeman verbally explodes saying,
‘Mister, I have the authority of the State with me.’ Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his ID. The policeman proudly displays it to the farmer. ‘See this ID? This ID means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?’

The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores. Later, the old farmer hears loud screams and sees the police running for his life and close behind is the farmer’s bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The police is clearly terrified. The old farmer immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs…..

“Your ID! SHOW HIM YOUR ID!”

An inspirational speaker said: “The best
days of my life were The Days I spent In The
Arms Of another man’s wife”
.
The audience was
shocked
.
Then he quickly added:
“She was my mother”.
.
A big round of applause
and laughter followed.
.
.
An adventurous man in the audience later
decided to try this at home.
.
After dinner he told
his wife: “You know, the best days of my life
were the days I spent In The Arms of
another man’s wife”.
.
But he couldn’t quickly recall the follow-up
line.
.
By the time he regained
consciousness, he was on a hospital bed
recovering from burns of boiling water!

Wife treats hubby by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday😊..!!

At The Club, The Doorman Says, “Hi Wreezy, How are You😎?”

The wife asks, “How does he know you😐?

Wreezy says, “Oh dear, I play football with him🤗.”

Inside the Bartender Says, “The Usual, Wreezy😉?”

Wreezy says to Wife, “Before you say anything, He’s on the Salt Team😀.”

Next a stripper Says, “Hi Wreezy! Do You Crave the Special Again😋🍑??”

The Wife storms🤚😏 out dragging Wreezy with her & jumps into a taxi.

The Taxi driver Says, “Hey Wreezy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time🤚..”

Wreezy’s Funeral is on Saturday

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND
TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE
HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING
SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE
AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER
STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH
A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE
OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE
YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE
OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, “HEY OLD
WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?”
THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE
GUNSLINGER AND SAID, “NO,… I
NEVER DID DANCE… NEVER REALLY
WANTED TO.”
A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE
GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID
“WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU’RE GONNA
DANCE NOW,” AND STARTED
SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN’S
FEET.
THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR —
NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE
BLOWN OFF –STARTED HOPPING
AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS
LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET
HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG
GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING,
HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED
AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE
SALOON.
THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER
PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-
BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED
BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY
THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE
CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING
IMMEDIATELY.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE
SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED
AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE
WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE
CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG
GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD
WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING
HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN
NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD
WOMAN’S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY
SAID, “SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED
A MULE’S ASS?”
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD
AND SAID, “NO M’AM… BUT I’VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO.
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR
ALL OF US:
1 – Never be arrogant.
2 – Don’t waste ammunition.
3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re
smarter than you are.
4 – Always make sure you know who
has the power.
5 – Don’t mess with old people; they
didn’t get old by being stupid.

If You Select seSotho On The
ATM Your Money Comes Coverd
In Blankets