Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.
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Your girlfriend wants u to meet her family😐
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When u get there…The elder sister is your ex-girlfriend😯
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The younger brother is the boy u were fighting with over a girl😤
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Her dad is the doctor who advice u to stop coming with girls for abortion😩
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And finally the mother is a sugar mommy who just bought u the car🚗 u are currently using😨
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What will u do?
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A boat was docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and… asked how long it took to catch them.
“Not very long” they answered in unison.
“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
We have a full life.”
The tourist interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”
“And after that?”
“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!!! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”
“How long would that take?”
“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.
“And after that?”
“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the tourist, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.
“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”
“With all due respect sir, but that’s exactly what we are doing now. So what’s the point wasting twenty-five years?” asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is:
Know where you’re going in life, you may already be there! Many times in life, money is not everything.
“Live your life before life becomes lifeless”
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A husband and wife entered the dentist’s office. The husband said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible. ”
“You’re a brave man,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is. ”
The husband turns to his wife and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear. “
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After your roommate has passed away,
how long do you have to wait before
eating his/her grocery?
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A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s –
That’s because she changes it more often.
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[Age: 18-25]
Is the age where you meet a lot of temporary people..!
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Mother: “How was school today, Patrick?”
Patrick: “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”
Mother: “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”
Patrick: “What school?”
Check out this really funny jokes:
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Yesterday i was in town, saw this beautiful lady waving and i waved back. Well she wasn’t waving at me but to this guy standing next to me. So to avoid the awkwardness i kept my hand up, the taxi stopped. Now I’m in Mozambique starting a new life
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It’s about love, family, peace & gratitude ❤️
Share below what makes your Christmas’s special… ✨
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Husband called wife on phone and said “today no need to cook i will bring dinner from the Second Wife” ..
Husband came home and knocked at the door.
Wife opened the door and thats the only thing husband remembered
Husband is in ICU now…. Whereas second wife is a name of a particular restaurant.
Children of God be slow to anger.
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Boy takes girl into bedroom, pulls his pants
down and says ” meet my little brother”,
girl pick up her bag, on her way out she
said,” call me when he’s grown up”…
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One evening last week, my wife and I were
getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat
up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.”
I said, “WHAT?!! What was that?!”
So she says the words that every husband on
the planet dreads to hear…
“You’re just not in touch with my emotional
needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man.” She responded to my
puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?”
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a
nice lunch and then went shopping at a big
department store. I walked around with her
while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which
one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each
outfit.”
We went on to the jewellery department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. She
was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think
she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know
how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s
fine, honey.” She was so excited.
Smiling with anticipation, she finally said, “I
think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw
dropped, “WHAT?”
I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch
with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”
And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?
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Do U know FULL FORM of DAIRYMILK
.
.
Darling Always I remember you, meet immediately 4 a lovely kiss.
.
.
That-s why most BOYS give DAIRYMILK TO GIRLS
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In exam they give me questions I don’t
know I give them answers they don’t
know……simple as that
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THREE BENEFITS OF CIGARETTES
1. Smokers don’t grow old!
2. Smokers can not be bitten by a dog!!
3. Smokers cannot be attacked by thieves while sleeping.
WHY NOT?
1. Smokers don’t grow old because they will die young due to lung damage, as warned by the Ministry of Health.
2. Smokers won’t be bitten by a dog simply because when their lungs are damaged they have to walk with a stick every time. And dogs fear people with a stick in their hands.
3.Thieves cant break into the house of a smoker at night because smokers are always awake coughing!
If you like these three benefits, keep smoking or start smoking!
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