I was Shocked when I
heard A fat girl
singing I believe I Can Fly ”
My sister,
have you Ever seen an
Elephant Flying
Before?

When i grow up i always wanted to date a coloured chick ^_^
until i found out of their culture of losing front teeth. -_- -_-
..
Nah i won’t survive yazi. :/

There Was A Party & The Host Was Getting Worried

Because There Were Too Many People And Not Enough Refreshments.

Host Wasn’t Sure If All Of Them Were Invited Or Not.

Then He Got An Idea.

He Turned To Guests & Said: “Will All Those From The Bride Side Of The Family Please Stand Up?”

About 20 People Stood.

Then He Asked: “And From Groom’s Side?”

About 25 More People Stood.

Then He Smiled & Said: “Will All Those Who Stood Please Leave, This Is A Birthday Party”

Never let anyone do more for you than
you can do for yourself. It’s a trap!

Husband’s Massage:

Honey, I Got Hit By A Car Outside Of The Office. Teena Brought Me To Hospital. They have been making tests and X-rays. The blow to my head though is very strong. Will not have any serious or lasting injury. But, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm , a compound fracture in the left lef and they may have to amputate the right foot.

Wife’s Response :

Who’s Teena ?

An older retired guy and a young kid entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, the young guy stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the young man said to the older one, “Man I’m the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can’t beat that.” The elder man replied: “You want to see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real stealing.” So they went to the counter and the older man said to the shopkeeper,”Do you want to see magic?”
The shopkeeper replied, “Yes.”
The senior said, “Give me one chocolate bar.”
The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it.
Then the senior asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.
The shopkeeper asked: “But where’s the magic?”
The older guy replied: “Check in my friend’s pocket, and you’ll find all three bars of chocolate.”

Acting “surprised”😮 when you get a plate of food🥗at someone’s house is very important! 👌

A soldier ran up to a nun out of breath he asked:” May l hide under your skirt”? I’ll explain later.
The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, Have you seen a soldier? ”
The nun replied:”He went that way”
After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said,”I can’t thank you enough sister. You see l don’t want to go to war to Iraq.
The nun replied:”I understand completely.”
The soldier added:”I hope I’m not rude, you have a great pair of legs”
The nun replied:”If you had looked little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls! !!
I don’t want to go to Iraq either! !!

If you expect the world to be fair with you..
because you are fair, you’re fooling yourself.
That’s like expecting the lion not to eat you
because you didn’t eat him.

TO ALL THOSE WHO SAID THEY ARE GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT THIS YEAR
WHERE ARE YOU😅
HEY!!!DON’T SCROLL DOWN I’M TALKING TO YOU