A pregnant woman was delivering but the baby find it difficult to come out, but the nurses as usual yelled *PUSH..!!! BUT*no sign of the baby coming ……
.
After 10munites later, the baby’s head came out and asked?
Baby = is this South Africa ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = is Zuma still in power ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = is Malema still causing trouble in Parliament ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = what about a bag of rice?
Nurse = R109.99
baby = how much is 1gig data bundles?
Nurse = R150
Baby = how much is the # SASSA grants?
Nurse = R350
Baby = and u want me to come out?
Nurse = yes!!
Baby = u must be joking!!!
Dear bae
● Laѕт Weeĸ I bought KFC you made it
Cнιcĸen Sтew, I kept quiet
● I bought Pιzza you spread Peanυт Bυттer
and Raмa, I kept quiet.
● Yesterday you poured Rιce Mayonnaιѕe
and Toмaтo Saυce while it’s still on a
Stove! Still I kept quiet.
●Today i forgot my phone at home, I came
back only to find 30 Mιѕѕed Callѕ Froм Yoυ,
when I ask what you wanted! You said
you wanted to tell me that I left my Pнone!
Aowa I’m done with you hey, Iт’ѕ Over
Sтrυυ!!
When We Were Kids…
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper⚽🤣
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties were🤣 awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone is tired😂.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.😂
6. No referees and linesmen. You could run with the ball even behind the goal post.🤣
7. If you don’t participate in repairing the ball, you will be given a match ban.😂
8. If you’re picked last, you’re a loser.
9. The guy who’s never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree when it got stuck, under the car or in another person’s compound to play in the next game😁.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over!😅
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.⚽
12. The most skillful player get an automatic selection.True or false?🤣
Afta 10yrs of mariage.
Wife: Hie
Hubby: Hie
Wife: Did u eat?
Hubby: Did u eat?
Wife: Are u coping me, uyanglungisela?
Hubby: Are u coping me, uyanglungisela?
Wife: I love u.
Hubby: Yes, i have already ate!
Urgently need a Mercedes Benz S class 2015 model..mileage not more than 15,000km.. ranging between R150 000 – R200 000. It shld have 17 inch rims..tinted windows..Any color with Sunroof. Please send the picture as soon as possible I wanna change my profile pic.
A man lost on no-man’s-land Island.
1 day he decided to build a wood boat to save his life.
Suddenly a höt girl came there &
the man use the wood 4 making bed.
Moral- A girl can change ur göal…
A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: ‘Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?’
Teacher: ‘Of course not.’
Student: ‘Good, because I haven’t done my homework.’
On Monday, I asked my wife for R200 to go for a drink since it was a holiday. Truly speaking I’m that one guy who doesn’t like bathing.
So my wife said she will give me that 200 but on one condition.
She said go and bath I have already put some warm water in the bath,
I went there and took some Vaseline and did my own things. I didn’t bath, and then rush back to where she was sitting with our kids.
And I said I’m done bathing may you please give me the money so that I can go?
To my surprise they all started laughing at me and one of my kids said *”Lol Dad you didn’t bath because the money is just under the soap”
RULES AND REGULATION FOR MY FUTURE WIFE
1. My future wife is not allowed to have more than 3 male friends: Me, her dad and her brother (if you have two brother
you better pick your favourite)
2. My future wife is not allowed to pray silently. I wanna know
what’s going on between you and Jesus.
3. If my future wife wants to comment on any guy’s post we
must first discuss about it.
4. My future wife is not allowed to work.. Cause being with me is a full time job”
5. My future wife is not allowed to hide her phone from me. As
long as we’re together it’s not an iPhone it’s a “wePhone”.
6. My future wife is not allowed to sleep unless I’m watching
her. If she laughs in her sleep I’m coming into her dreams to see what’s so funny…
I am caring. Right?
