I talked to a to a homeless man this morning
and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library.
“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”
I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”
“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was released from jail.”
A man is sitting next to a
woman who’s trying to
Breastfeed her Baby in a Bus.
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The Baby refuses to drink the milk and the Mother warns In order to make baby drink: “If you don’t drink, I shall give it to the Uncle next to Me!”
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The Baby still refuses.
.
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After 20 minutes the woman repeats the “Threat”
.
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The man clears his Throat and said: “Look Madam, you Better make up your Mind, I was suppose to get off six Bus-Stops Ago!!
Can’t stop laughing..I was buying mangoes at the junction while waiting for change I saw a woman with a little child. The child was walking a bit faster than the woman and the woman shouted; “Degree wait for me”. I was so amazed hearing that name. So to satisfy my curiousity, I walked closer to the woman and asked; “madam, why do u call this child degree”? The woman laughed and said “I sent her mother to the University and this is what she brought home…kikiki
*DATING A SCHOOL GIRLS* This is how I
stopped dating school girls: She came to my
place in a school uniform, looked into my
eyes and said, “Sweetheart, I have missed
my periods.” That’s when I fainted and
woke up in a hospital. I overheard her
telling the nurse that, “I didn’t know he care
so much about my school life, all I wanted to
tell him was that, I had missed my periods
for Maths and English,*(so that I could fine
time for him)* but he fainted before i could
finish.”
A man in USA saw a dog attacking a lady, he kicked the dog – it died.
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Newspaper reported:
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Local hero saved lady from a crazy dog!
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Man said, I am not American
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Report changed to: Foreign hero saved lady from a crazy dog!
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Man said, Actually I am Pakistani
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Report changed to: Terrorist killed an innocent dog.
she changes her surname💛
💛she changes her home💛
💛she leaves her family💛
💛she moves in with you💛
💛she builds a home with you💛
💛she gets pregnant for you💛
💛her pregnancy changes her body for you💛
💛she gets fat for you💛
💛She almost gave up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth for you💛
💛even the kids she delivers bear your name, till the day she dies everything she does for you💛
💛I respect and love every woman who’s reading here💛
Brothers stop calling your girlfriends with cheap names like honey,chocolate,sweety,sugar…those things cost less . 😀😀😀😀..call them with names like bag of rice,my university fees,petrol…😂😂..let’s value our girlfriends guys….
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Infact MY BAG OF CEMENT I MISS YOU.
I am inviting you my fellow friends and relatives to our
END OF YEAR PARTY
All drinks and food for free
Date :- 23th December, 2017
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Time: – 17hrs till late..
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Dress code smart casual.
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Venue: – 世界上有太多的人在挨饿。
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Make sure you don’t miss it! Thank you in advance
