A couple was found dead yesterday in Rustenburg,😭 it is said the cause of death is sugar diabetic, this sickness is cause because of calling each other my sweetheart💁‍♂️, my chocolate🙄, my honey😕 , my sweetcake🤨, my lovecandy😐 and my lollipop😏, so 2save our lives😊 n partners lets start calling each other by healthy foods😎 , lyk my spinach, my carrot, my cabbage, my veggies vegg, my mopani wormy😍, etc.. Plz send this 2 all ur frnds as a warning😪

The money I pay in school is called school fees.
The money that I pay in the Church is called Offering and Tithes.
The money I pay in the bank is called Bank charge.
…
Up till now, I still don’t know what to call the money that I give to ladies.

Your Girlfriend will never post your pic on facebook because her sponsors are watching..
She can’t afford to Loose those airtime and Brazilianhairs because of you…..
.
But just upload them and tag her if she delete those tag…..
.
But it’s none of my business

Don’t play with a girl’s heart!
She’s got only one.
Always try to play with her t**s!
she’s got two of those😏

I’ve got a couple of goldfish as pets. I call them one and two.
That way if one dies I’ve still got two

Google is the second fastest searching
engine…….. A Guy’s eye remain the first
when searching for a beautiful girl in a
crowd.

If my girlfriend is hotter than yours best believe
I’m gonna bring that up when losing an argument with you

*I’m still keeping my Ex pictures.
I want to show my kids Who delayed their arrival 😂😂😂

Putting your man on your DP shall never scare us.
We have entered toilets written “Staff Only”

A pregnant woman was delivering but the baby find it difficult to come out, but the nurses as usual yelled *PUSH..!!! BUT*no sign of the baby coming ……
.
After 10munites later, the baby’s head came out and asked?
Baby = is this South Africa ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = is Zuma still in power ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = is Malema still causing trouble in Parliament ?
Nurse = yes!!!
Baby = what about a bag of rice?
Nurse = R109.99
baby = how much is 1gig data bundles?
Nurse = R150
Baby = how much is the # SASSA grants?
Nurse = R350
Baby = and u want me to come out?
Nurse = yes!!
Baby = u must be joking!!!

I stopped watching Nigerian movies wen I saw that witch tasting her poison to make sure that it was enough….for the how Mara!