When you meet her friends and
you realize you got the ugly one

INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an
umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the
following
circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its
master.
b. The moment Julie G. starts unbuttoning her
blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss’ car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The
Crying Game”.
e. When she is using her teeth.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you
must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours,
his sister is off limits forever unless you actually
marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in
a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at
will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall
never be required to buy a birthday
present for another man. In fact, even remembering
your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.

R.I.P to Jack Daniels ⚰
JACK DANIELS was found dead today by JOHNNY WALKER at
SAVANNAH Street near the CASTLE in RED SQUARE centre.
His wife HENNESY and their two sons HANSA & AMSTEL have been crying under an AMARULA tree ever since.
Mr HEINEKEN thinks he was killed by HUNTERS who shot him
with a STRONG BOW. His FOUR COUSINS confirmed he was coming from Club J&B in MELLOW WOOD on
4TH STREET.
It appears that he had an affair with Mr HUNTERS wife SARITA. She also feared for her life & moved to NEDERBURG.
CAPTAIN MORGAN is still investigating this case but evidence points that Mr. J.C Le ROUX is also a suspect.
The funeral will be held at KLIPDRIFT & performed by pastor FISH EAGLE as soon as the church BELLS ring tomorrow.
We hope JAMESON and his wife NAMAQUA will arrive on time. They have to fly over TWO OCEANS to get here…
Share This with All Our Alcoholic Friends For a laugh… Let the GUARANA’s begin!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Even if you’re not an Alcoholic, share it to make someone’s day..

One Day You Will Want To Inbox Me
But I will Be Married
So Please Use This Time Wisely

A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.
“It’s not my fault,” I said, “Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that?” he laughed.
I said, “I’ll prove it to you if you want me to!”
“Go on then.” he smiled, handing me the bag.
After flushing them, he looked at me and said, “Well, show me your pocket then.”
“What for?” I asked.
He said, “The drugs.”
I said, “What drugs?”

Nelson Mandela has changed his
profile picture on the South African money

The way female bankers explain account opening is so sexy…..
They will be like…..
I will open it for you so you can put something inside okay
Whether big or small just put something.

The reason why women live long is because they don’t have a “Wife”…