When they answer the phone
white’s: Hello !!
BLACK’S: YELLOW !! ..

A newly married husband saved
his wife’s number on his mobile
as “MY LIFE”.
After 1 year of marriage he
changed the number to “MY
WIFE”. After 2 years of marriage
he
changed the number to “HOME”.
After 5 years of marriage he
changed the number to “HITLER”.
After 10 years of marriage he
changed the number to “WRONG
NUMBER”.
What name do you think he will
save the wife’s number with
after 15years…….?

Girl: Wow! What a nice phone, where did you get it?

Mbambino: I won it in a running competition

Girl: How many people participated?

Mbambino: Police, the owner of the phone and me.

“Send Me Money💰/Airtime📲” is where a Guy loses 80% of Interest in a Girl..! 🙄

Brown Bread Is Healthier Than White Bread, Brown Sugar Is Healthier than White Sugar, Should I tell This Yellow Bones Or You’ll tell them???

She walked into the banking hall, with her pointed shoes announcing her arrival minutes before you saw her.

She wore that kind of dress that convinces you that heaven is missing an angel.

The aroma of her perfume would easily finish a bowl of eba for its sweetness.

And the phone which she gingerly held to her ear, without minding the security guy that was waving frantically at her that calls are not allowed in banking halls, will cost a small fortune.

She stepped forward, picked a deposit slip and searched frantically for a pen.

About five guys offered her their pens but she took mine, maybe because I was closer to her.

After a while, or a long while because time stood still, she stood up and inched closer to me.

I was sweating like a pregnant fish and huffing and puffing like a Monitor lizard.

She whispered, “Please can you spell ‘thirty’ for me?”

I looked down at her deposit slip in surprise.

She had written, ‘Tarty Tausan’!

😂😂😂😂😂😂
BEAUTY IS NOT EVERYTHING.

Boy: Hey Love, I’m standing at the gate Please come out…
Girl: I am not at home, I’m at Jo’burg i left yesterday
Boy: 😢😢 Ok fine😥😥.. anyways i brought fifty thousand😢
Girl: what!! Wait honey just give me 5 minutes I’m on my way
Boy: Huh😨😨😨 5min from Jo’burg to here😨😴😴
Girl: No Love, I’m nearby at my friends place we call it ” Jo’burg “😊😊
Boy: Ok hurry up then😏 we are waiting for you🙄🙄
Girl: You nd Who?
Boy: Me nd My friend, We call him Fifty thousand..
his the one who wanted to meet you

The Person Who Removed The 29th And 30th Of February,
Must Do Something With The 14th Of February

Dear girlfriend,
You can’t just dump me by saying
“it’s over”… I won’t believe you.
I want the following things to
support your decision:
1. 5 full Pages of your reasons.
2. Police affidavit.
3. A 90 minutes voice record of the
reason why you’re dumping me.
4. Your parents ID’s
5. Your parents’ permission.
6. The President’s approval.
7. Relocate to another country.
8. Lastly… You’ll have to perform
rituals Slaughtering two fat cows
Apologizing for hurting my feelings..
Either that… Or we stay
together!.

*Admin:* Hi guys, im adding Vivie to the group.

*Malume:* Hi Vivie welcome to the group.

*Vivie:* Hi guys am new to the city.

*Mukoma:* Hi Vivie dont worry, am there…any problems i will be there.

*Moses:* Hi Vivie.. tell me if you have any problem, will arrange a solution for you.

*Shumba:* Hi Vivie, if you need anything tell me, it will be arranged.

*Samaz:* Hi Vivie, im here on stand-by for you.
Feel free any time of day, midday, a quarter day or whole day for any problem.
I am the solution. I will manage it for you completely and also..

*Vivie:* Thanks guys for your support.

*Sinyoro:* Vivie whats your full name

*Vivie:* Vincent Phiri

*Moses: left*
*Samaz: left*
*Shumba: left*
*Malume: left*
*Mukoma: left*