People In The Taxi Are So Kind
Today I Just Stretched My Arms ,
They Gave Me A Roll-On
Then When I Say ”Thank You”
They Gave Me A Mint!🍬

Men are very selective with who they
spend on. The same man who you think is
broke and stingy is making it rain for
another girl.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but please
return people’s money with the
same energy and smile you borrowed it

People Usually Say There Is No Difference Between Complete & Finish.

But There Is

When You Marry The Right One, You Are Complete.

And When You Marry The Wrong One, You Are Finished.

And When The Right One Catches You With The Wrong One, You Are Completely Finished!

When you are broke, no one takes you seriously.
Even dogs don’t bark at you when you pass by!!!

I Guess I’ll Be Bored in Heaven Because All My Friends Are Going To Hell

These days it’s risky to get angry with your
girlfriends because of those guys called
*I’m here for you*

Dear Future wife
You must know we will be married
forever and never divorce.
The following must be done to
divorce me…
*I want our divorce to take place in a
church we got married at, by the
pastor who’ve blessed our marriage
and all the people who witnessed our
vows. If we were able to invite em to
witness our marriage, I guess they
also have the right to come and
witness our divorce.Should any of the
witnessed die, forget about the
divorce, I won’t go for it.
.
*I want all my money I’ve spent on
our wedding celebration,
catering,food,drinks and rings …it will
be used on our divorcing
celebration,notforgetting the lobola
bride prize with interest of 25%
compounded annually.
.
*Seven goats and two cows must be
slaughtered to cleanse your shame of
disappointing my ancestors with our
divorce…all the goats must be green
in colour. Strictly no any other colour.
.
*Go and fetch all those woman
who’ve been trying their luck on me,
but I refused their proposals coz I
valued our marriage and thought I
wasn’t gonna betray and cheat on
you. Please go talk to em on my
behalf…I want em all.
.
*Your uncles who were negotiating
your lobola bride prize must be there
to renegotiate my refund. If one of the
uncles who was there on negotiations
had passed away or something, forget
about the divorce I want him there
.
*After finishing all of the things above,
I want a sourmoon, take me to a
place where I took you for our
honeymoon, and spent the same
period of time we spent on
honeymoon.better pray that we find
the same people we found there the
time we were there for our
honeymoon, should we find different
people..forget about the divorce

You will be dating your bae nice nice then one fool will just come & give her a lift in a Range Rover Sport then she starts behaving like an Android Phone that needs Flashing.

Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
–
“No”, she replies sleepily.
–
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
–
Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”

If you are girlfriend and by any chance you feel like shaving your eyebrow , and draw them back ka pencil then i will also draw cows for lobola , let me repeat , i will draw cows for lobola . Yeah everything in our relationship is art…i am an artist too.