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*Couldn’t stop laughing*
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag. Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You”….. He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a Church nearby, for the priest… “Father, please come with me. Come & witness God & Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You’………… Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said: “What About The Two At The Gate?” You should’ve seen the marathon…

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If your relationship status says, …
It`s complicated…
you should stop kidding yourself
and change it to …Single..

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You are renting a 1 room and you come here on
Facebook and post stuff like; “Having breakfast in
bed” like you have a choice.

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I’ve sent my girlfriend this Message ”
I Love you babe ” using mobicel nd
this is what she received 👇

Babe, I’m cheating

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Angulu FIRS:
If you marry the right person, everyday is Valentine’s Day.

Marry the wrong person, everyday is Martyrs Day.

Marry a lazy person, everyday is Labour Day.

Marry a rich person everyday is New Year’s Day

Marry an immature person, everyday would seem like Children’s Day.

Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool’s Day.

And if you don’t get married, everyday is Independence Day!

Marriage is the only school where you get the Certificate before you start.

It’s also a school where you will never graduate.

It’s a school without a break or a free period.

It’s a school where no one is allowed to drop out.

It’s a school you will have to attend every day of your life.

It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.

It’s a school founded by God:

1.On the foundation of love.

2.The walls are made out of trust.

3.The door made out of acceptance.

4.The windows made out of understanding

5.The furniture made out of blessings

6.The roof made out of faith.

Be reminded that you are just a student not the principal.

God is the only Principal.

Even in times of storms, don’t be unwise and run outside.

Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.

Never go to sleep before completing your
assignments for the day.

Never forget the C-word…Communicate.

Communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.

If you find out something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate,

Remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate,

God is not finished with him/her yet.

So take it as a challenge and work on it together.

Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).

Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way.

Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.

When tempted to quit find courage and continue.

Some tests and exams may be tough but remember,

the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet

it’s a school better than any other.

It’s one of the best schools on earth;

joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.

Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.

After all the years of theorizing about it, now you have a chance to practice it.

To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.

Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse.
More grace from God.

Send this to all your married friends to encourage them, and to your unmarried friends to counsel and educate them.

Beloved!
God bless you and bless your marriage.

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Don’t know why he is angry with me
.
Even if you meet in dreams, it doesn’t even talk..!!

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TYPES OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK:

1) The “Rooster” – Feels that it is their job to tell Facebook “Good Morning” every day !! 😛

2) The “Lurker” – Never posts or comments on your post, but reads everything, and might make reference to your status if they see you in public.

3) The “Hyena” – Doesn’t ever really say anything, just LOLs and
LMAOs at everything.

4) “Mr/Ms Popular” – Has 4,367 friends for NO reason

5) The “Gamer” – Plays Words With Friends, Mafia Wars, Bakes
virtual cakes and stuff, etc., ALL DAY.)

6) The “Cynic” – Hates their life, and everything in it, as evidenced by the somber tone in ALL of their status updates.

7) The “Collector” – Never posts anything either, but joins every
group and becomes fans of the most random stuff.

8) The “Promoter” – Always sends event invitations to things that you ultimately delete or ignore.

9) The “Liker” – Never actually says anything, but always clicks the “like” button

10) “Drama Queen/ King” – This person always posts stuff like “I
can’t believe this!”, or “They gonna make me snap today!”, in
the hopes that you will ask what happened, or what’s wrong but
then they never finish telling the story.

11) The “News” – Always updates you on what they are doing and who they are doing it with, no matter how arbitrary, and Lastly

12) The “Thief” – Steals status updates… and will probably steal
this one :

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“Sometimes you have to lie.
But to yourself you must always
tell the truth.”
— Louise Fitzhugh

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I need a wife as crazy as I am.

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night and we are both laughing cuz we forgot to pick our kids from school.

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Some of you ladies also want to be loyal to
your boyfriends but the economy doesn’t
allow you

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Your story is unique,
it’s beautiful, and it’s not over

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May this August go with…
•bad lucky🙄
•worries😴
•Sickness😪
•Hatred😩
•negative news😭
•weakness😱
And may this new September bring you…
•Lucky😘
•Happiness💃
•Health life💪
•Positive news👏
•Strength🙌
Be blessed and be protected always😍
Happy new month all family and frien

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If you hate someone, Please hate him/her
alone. Don’t recruit other people to hate
him/her with you.That’s witchcraft.

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Love is a silent language
only the heart can speak
and only the soul can understand..

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