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A Preacher said: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river”. Again the congregation cried,”Amen!”
The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up & said: “For our closing hymn, let’s turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, ‘We shall drink from that river’.
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!

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At What Age Did You Realize That
“BAE” Simply Means “Bill And Expenses

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1 Year
12 Months
365 Days
8760 Hours
525600 Minutes
31536000 Seconds
Every Day, 😟😟😟Every Time, Every Minute, I Just Miss😟😘😟😘😟😘😟😘 You PLEASE COME BACK

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Short girls are so stubborn,
they even refuse to grow😥

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They say milk gives strength.
I drank 4 cups of milk yet
I wasnt able to move a wall,
but when i drank 4 bottles of beer
i saw walls moving by themselves.
.
These scientists are bloody liars 😂

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A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale,
sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”

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Impossible only means you haven’t found the solution yet.

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Black people will see their ex classmates pregnant and say “Eish this girl was very quiet at school.”
Who said pregnancy comes with noise?

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Stop looking for a perfect partner to date or marry… Na we wey remain b this,,, except if you go check heaven. 😅😅😅

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Stop saying that another man’s food is another man’s poison. …….
can u please take your poison in peace. ..

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1) What should a woman do if she finds herself alone in the company of a strange male as she enters a lift in a high-rise apartment or building late at night?
Experts say: Enter the lift. If you need to reach the 13th floor, press all the buttons up to your destination. No one will dare attack you in a lift that stops on every floor.

2) What to do if a stranger tries to attack you when you are alone in your house, run into the kitchen.
Experts say: You alone know where the chili powder and turmeric are kept. And where the knives and plates are. All these can be turned into deadly weapons. If nothing else, start throwing plates and utensils all over. Let them break. Scream. Remember that noise is the greatest enemy of a molester. He does not want to be caught.

3) Taking a Taxi at Night.
Experts Say: Before getting into an auto at night, note down its registration number. Then use the mobile to call your family or friend and pass on the details to them in the language the driver understands .Even if no one answers your call, pretend you are in a conversation. The driver now knows someone has his details and he will be in serious trouble if anything goes wrong. He is now bound to take you home safe and sound. A potential attacker is now your de facto protector!

4) What if the driver turns into a street he is not supposed to and you feel you are entering a danger zone?
Experts say: Use the handle of your purse or your stole to wrap around his neck and pull him back. Within seconds, he will feel choked and helpless. In case you don’t have a purse or stole just pull him back by his collar. The top button of his shirt would then do the same trick.

5) If you are stalked at night.
Expert Say: enter a shop or a house and explain your predicament. If it is night and shops are not open, go inside an ATM box. ATM centers always have close circuit television. Fearing identification, no one will dare attack you.

After all, being mentally alert is the greatest weapon you can ever have.

Please forward to all the women you care about to spread awareness as this is the least we can do for a social & moral cause and for the safety of our women.

Guys ~ Please forward to your moms, sisters, wives, relatives, lady friends, etc.

Better safe than sorry, right?

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No words are necessary between two loving hearts.

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{Dear Ladies}
A man that truly loves❤ you would stand
by your side even when you get pregnant for another man. That man is your dad.

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Short Girls Are abusive and evil
You should see them when they are angry
its like a toy with new batteries

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Life always offers you a second chance.
It’s called tomorrow..

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