Your mama’s tupperwares are more important than you
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My girlfriend just said to me, “Did you know, butterflies
only live for two days?” I said, “Honey, I think that’s a myth.”
She said, “No, it’s definitely a butterfly.”
.
As I boarded the plane I nervously said to the stewardess, “How often do aeroplanes crash?”She replied, “Generally, only once.”
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Girl: “Hi, Baby”
Boy: “Hi, My Lovely”……………………………………> Sending Failed
Girl: “Are You There?”
Boy: “Yes, Yes I Am Here”…………………………….> Sending Failed
Girl: “Are You Ignoring Me Or What”
Boy: “Honey I Am Not, I Am Right Here”……………> Sending Failed
She: “It’s Sooo Over! Don’t Ever Talk To Me Again”
Him: “Damn! Go To Hell”……………………………….> Message Sent
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Me: can I buy you a drink??
Her: no alcohol is bad for my legs
Me: do they swell
Her: they open up easily
Me: thats the plan
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I can’t deny the fact that I am missing you right now.
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Family crisis is when u discover that the father that fathered your father’s mother is not related to your sister’s cousin’s brother…
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Are u getting it?
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What is the opposite of dominos???.
Think
Think
.
.
.
It’s Domi doesn’t knows
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When you realize that you’re constantly treating a person a lot better than they treat you,
it’s time to make a change.
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Dear Camera,
I hate the way you you make me ugly.
Mirror is so nice to me.
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I went to a dentist this morning. While we were in the queue with other patients. There was these beautiful young lady sitted next to me, I thought everything about her was beautiful until we went in the dentist’s room. The Dentist asked her what was her problem. She replied ” Doctor, Am here for a tooth Dehorning ” you could have seen me laughing untill I lose all my teeth
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A little boy Rich came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma; Where’s mom and dad?😯
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She replied; They are up in bed.
Rich started to giggle😁 ate his breakfast and went out to play.
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He came back in for lunch and asked his grandma; Where’s mom and dad😀
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She replied; They are still up in bed😧
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Rich started to giggle😆 ate his lunch and went out to play💃
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He came in for dinner and asked his grandma; Where’s mom and dad?😮
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The grandmother replied; They are still up in bed.
Rich started laughing😂
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The grandmother asked; Rich what is going on?😐 Why is it that every time I tell you they are still up in bed, you will start laughing!😑
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Rich replied; Last night daddy came into my room and asked me for vaseline and I gave him super glue😕
One word for Rich
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Ladies short hair is not for everyone some of you should just stick with your weaves cause with short hair you just remind us of amapara who once robbed us
Another trauma again🤣🤣
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I have seen better days* ……. but I’ve also seen Worse
I don’t have everything that I want ……. but I do have all I need
I woke up with some aches & pains …….. but I woke up ❗
My life may not be Perfect but ……. “I am BLESSED “
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Have you ever notice that people would
rather stop speaking to you instead of
apologizing when they’re wrong
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Never open your wallet to prove love.🙅
•°•°•°•
Be Responsible..!
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My girlfriend is visit me today….what did i cook for him without meet🍗🍖 because she is a Vegetable she don’t eat meat….any receipt please
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