Got examined by the Doctor. He said, “Can’t
find anything wrong, it must be the drink.”
Me: “OK, I’ll come back when you’re sober.”
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Sub Categories
You haven’t moved on if you still remember your EX name.
Thank God I don’t remember Cynthia.
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There’s always a season for everything that’s supposed to happen in your life. Just trust in God’s timing,
He will give you everything you need
at the right moment at the right time.
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A Drunk man is stopped by the Police around 1 AM & is asked where he is going at this time of night.
The man replies, “I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health.”
*Police:* Really….??? Sounds interesting… Who is giving that lecture at this time of night???
*Man replies*, “My wife!!!”
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U CANNOT give a woman everything she needs.
If God Himself gave them eyebrows,
they shave it and draw their own.
God gave them nails,
they cut it off and fixed their own,
God gave them* *hair,
they cut it off and fixed their own,
He gave them breast,
they repackage it to the size and shape they want.
God gave the lips,
every morning they paint it with different colours of lip stick.
*If even God can’t satisfy them then who are U to think that you can please them ? 😂😂. My brother don’t kill yourself
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If someone didn’t attend your funeral,
would you attend theirs?
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I want to date someone who will respect my Girlfriend..!
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This guy bathong !! Is he really gonna finish the 5 beers I bought him without telling me any of his family’s secrets. My money can’t go to waste like that, he has to tell me something
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Can you swear with your life that the person
you are dating is dating only you??
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For those who in one man one woman. See the ratio of men to women
from UN.
We have 7.8 Billion people on this planet earth.
Women = 5.6 Billion
Men = 2.2 Billion
So, you see my sister think twice before giving attitudes to any man because out of the 2.2 Billion men:
> One billion are married already.
>130,000 are in the prison.
>70,000 are mentally ill.
That means that we have just 1 billion men available for marriage and out of the
1 billion:
>50% are jobless
>3% are gay
>5% are Catholic Priests
>10% are your relatives
>35% are above 66years
So, ladies both the married and singles, you have to rethink before treating any man like trash.
Source: U.N
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Lord please teach me to speak the
right words at the right time with the right tone,
that I may live peaceable with my neighbors..
Amen.
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Once An Indian And An American Both Were Friends.
They Both Went Into A Chocolate Store.
Everybody Is Busy In The Store So American Steal 3 Chocolates And Put Those In The Pocket.
Both Came Out From The Store Then American Said: “Man, I’m The Best Thief Ever, I Stole 3 Chocolates And No One Saw Me, You Can’t Beat That.”
Indian Replied: “This Is Nothing, You Wanna See Something Better, Lets Go Back To The Shop And I Will Show You Real Stealing.”
So They Went To The Counter And Indian Said To The Shop Boy: “Do You Wanna See Magic?”
Shop Boy Replied: “Yes, Of Course.”
Indian Said: “Give Me One Chocolate Bar.”
Shop Boy Gave Him One, And He Ate It.
Indian Asked For The Second, And He Ate That As Well.
Indian Asked For The Third, And Finished That One Too.
The Shop Boy Asked: “But Where Is The Magic?”
Indian Replied: “Check In My Friends Pocket, And You’ll Find Them.”
You Can’t Beat An Indian.
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When a girl tells you I’m not ready to date,
she is simply saying I don’t like you in a polite way.
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Why is a bachelor skinny
and a married man fat?
-The Bachelor comes
home, takes one look at
what’s in the refrigerator,
…and goes to bed.
-The Married man
comes home,takes one
look at what’s in the bed
and goes to refrigerator
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Maintain a smile in all situations
then you are strong enough
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When you are broke, you’ll discover that 98% of your contacts are useless.
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