A man enters a bar and the bartender comes over and asks, “Can I help you, sir?”
The man answers, “What does a cup of coffee cost in this place?”
The bartender says, “That would be $2.60.”
“Alright, I’ll have one,” says the man. He takes 26 dimes out of his wallet and throws them all on the ground. The bartender doesn’t want to get involved in a fight so he just picks up the money and he brings the man his coffee.
A week later, the same man enters the bar. He orders a coffee again but this time he pays with a five dollar bill.
The bartender smelled an opportunity for revenge so when he brings the coffee, he throws 48 nickels on the ground as change. The man drinks his coffee leaving the change on the ground. A few minutes later he throws two dimes on the floor and orders a second coffee.
Who gossips the most. . ?
.
.
1.Teachers at staffroom.📄
.
.
2.Amajita at the tarven🍻
.
.
3.Workers at the salon💅
.
.
4.Mechanics under a car🔧
.
.
5.Two unemployed friends..
.
.
6.Two Females Neighbours who are Unemployed👩
.
.
7.Three closed Church Members
.
.
8.Group of Boys always standing next to the Somalian Tuck shop👦👥
.
.
9.stokvel women👰👒
.
.10.street vendors💰
Rich phoned📲 his boss but get the bosses’s wife instead😯
–
She answered the phone crying: “I’m afraid he died last week”😭
–
The next day Rich calls again asking for the boss…The wife answered: “I told u yesterday, he died last week”😠
–
The next day he calls again and once more he asks to speak to his boss😯
–
By this time the wife is extremely angry😠😠😠 and she shouts ” I’VE ALREADY TOLD U TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK!!! WHY DO U KEEP CALLING???”😟😓
–
Rich replied laughing: “I just love hearing it…I’ll call u back again tomorrow”💪👏
Kgótso ‘s brother caught a thief who had been stealing his vegetables and decided to drag him to the village square.
Half way to the square, the thief said to the man, “Please, I have forgotten my slippers in the farm, can I go and get them?”
He obliged, “Hurry up! I would be waiting for you here.” He waited endlessly and realised he had been fooled.
He went home and told his elder brother Kgótso what had happenned
Kgótso brutally slapped him and said, “You are extremely dumb! You should have told the thief to wait while you go to get his slippers for him!”
*MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and face booking other peoples’ wives yet you don’t want to see your wife on social networks. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. *(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than $500. Your daughter who is awaiting A level results is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth $800 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing returns to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife $2for sitshebo, but you spend over $20 in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
ALL THE BEST
Bra Solly walked in a bar and aggressively shouted his order to the barman.
“Please give me 250g steak and pap and give everyone 500g steak and pap because when I eat I want everyone else to eat as well!”
The barman gave him his meal and everyone else theirs. When they finished their meal he shouted another order.
“Give me a bottle of brandy and everyone else a bottle of whisky (johhnie walker black) because when I drink I want everyone to drink”.
Everyone was happy and they started singing Bra Solly’s praises saying SOLLY is the man!!
When Solly finished his drink he shouted again,
“Give me my bill and give everyone else their own bill because when I pay for my meal and drinks I want everyone to pay for theirs!”
