A person is a person but when he enters;
● In hospital he is called a patient
● In a taxi he is called a passenger
● At school he is a student.
● In stadium he is a fan
Question, what is that person called when he enters a toilet??

Knock Knock…Who’s there ?…Norma Lee!…Norma Lee who ?…
Norma Lee don’t go round knocking on doors !

Marrying a fat woman is not a problem.
Problem comes when you are dancing with her……
Its like you are pushing a fridge😂

A man happily updated his status on facebook ‘Thank you God😍😍…..i have just got my salary’ 10 minutes later he was so sad😐😏 and down😪….!
Do you know why…….???
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His landlord liked his status

You must have at least one Gown in life.
Graduation Gown,
if you don’t have wedding gown,
if you don’t have Morning Gown.

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra.He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer Peter replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Cowra. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule’.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”
The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very
slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”
MORAL:
When you are educated, you’ll believe only half of what you hear.
When you’re intelligent, you’ll know which half

– Limpopo People Are Loosing Their Culture ,
i Saw One Buying A Plane Ticket To Cape Town 😡

What Happened To Flying With A Broom ?

You Take Her To The Mall And Spend Like R10,000 On Her Food, Cosmetic, Hair And Some New Clothes, After That She Want To Go Straight To Her House Without Even Just A kiss, Besides She Even tells You That She Will Soon Tell You If She Loves You Or Not, You Drive Her On Your AMG That Costs 4 Liter Petrol Pair Kilo And As You Drop Her At Her House You Give Her Like R2500 For Airtime And Data, When You Get Home She Text You Please Don’t Call I’m With My Future Husband💔 After Two Month While as You Are Still Waiting For Her To Answer You, She text You I’m Pregnant And The Guy Is Denying The Pregnancy😭 Out Of Love You Decide To Marry Her With her Pregnancy Only To Finds Out That The Same Broke Guy Who Made Her Pregnant Is Still Hitting On Her Ryt Inside Your House When You Are Off To Work 😬

My Question Is What Would You Do ?

There was a virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.
Her grandmother says, “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. “He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but
don’t let him do that.”
She continued, “He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. He is going to try to put his
hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.
Then the grandmother said, “But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.” With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date
and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.
She said, “Grandmother, I didn’t let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family😂

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

“Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very closely:

“Are – my – test – results – back?”