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Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”

The man replies, “And how would you do that?”

The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”

The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”

The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”

The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

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I just smoked weed for the first time and
this thing is so weak it has no effect on me.
Nothing has changed cause
I am still sitting on the TV watching the Sofa.

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Do lesbian leave each other for someone
with a bigger tongue and long fingers as
well?

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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. How much water did you drink ?

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Better to date a drunkard than to date a pastor
who is sleeping around with all the church
members.
.
Can I get an Amen.

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I dont want a relation where people say
they look so cute together.
I need a relation where people say,
Look how happy they are together.

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ROBOT FOR SALE:

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, “I did some homework.”
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, “Ok, Ok, I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”
Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”
Son says, “Toy Story.”
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn.”
Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what p*rn was.”
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.”
The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.

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‘You may go along with the right road , and he may take the left one , but after all , the two roads could meet at the same point … !

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Selfishness is better than selflessness.
It’s like being happy without giving a DAMN.

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A man truly loves you…
when missing you is his hobby ,
caring for you is his job and loving you is his life .

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There are 6 types of men in South African
1. Tsonga men
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their wife more .
2. Pedi men
They have 1 wife and 1 girlfriend but they love their girlfriend more.
3. Xhosa Men
They have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends but they love Alcohol most.
4. Venda Men
They have 1 wife and 2 girlfriends, but they love their daughters most.
5.Sotho Men
They have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends but they love their neighbors wives.(especially Ndebele Men)
And the best one. —
6. Zulu Men
They have 4 wives and 1 girlfriend. But they love their cattle most.

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Apparently Natal Midlands were originally named Midrand,
but since we know the battle of “R”, Midlands it remained!!!

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Men that beat their girlfriend’s if they did something wrong, aren’t real men..Us real men,we just ask for a pillow fight without letting her know there’s a brick inside my pillow

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new army captain inspected the soldiers in their barracks. He noticed a female horse.
Captain: What’s the horse for?
Soldier: We use her if we feel an urge to have sex.
Captain: Ah, that’s good.

One night, the captain feels an urge, and the soldier brought the horse to his tent.

When the captain was done, he saw the soldier smiling outside his tent.
Captain: It’s so hard and high eish….how do you guys do it?
Soldier: We ride on the horse to the next town where the girls are.
Captain: 😛

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Every sunrise gives me a new day to love you.
Good morning sweet heart,
have a wonderful day.

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