During a company’s annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand… the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond… and swim to the shore. Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 5 million… but if killed by the crocs…2 million will be given to the next of kin. For a long period of time no one dared take up the challenge… then suddenly a man jumped in…and swam frantically for his life towards shore pursued by the crocs..and luckily he made it unscathed. When he managed to recover his breath.. the man, who became instant millionaire, shouted asking who pushed him into the pond….. it was his wife who did it.!!! And from that day…that was how the phrase… “Behind every successful man…there’s a woman”…came about !!!

Dearth Raw💀

Is When You Tell Your Best Friend About How Nice Your Men Is In Bed And She Excidentaly Say “I Know Plus He Is Too Huge”

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past.
The lizard looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! what are you doing?”
The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!”
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he
has to check this out.
He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says shocked, “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink to get that big?”

MY neighbour sells weed
Its a secret
That’s why I won’t tell anyone

witchcraft is when your father is Bill Hates
instead of Bill Gates

People Who Think Are Better in English Really Congolese My Prohalidiet 😪😤 .. i Mean , How Can They Dopichristy Others By Their Poslascivious integrity ? 😕😒 Guys! 😠😡 We Need To Tiflaguede Our Thinking PLEASE!! 🙏🙏 , We Are All Calfinigaious Of The Rededication But if Not , Try Embletizing Or Be An Hypitechus 😓😥

Girl : Baby can you speak Italian? Because you always watching their soccer.
Boy : Yeah I understand everything
Girl : mmmmmmmm can you speak a little so that I can hear you.
Boy : Neymer totti messi ancelotti pierro maldin di natale konti…
Girl : WOW and what does that mean?
Boy : In all the days, as long as Im breathing, you will remain in my heart.
Girl : Thank you Babe, I love you so much my guardian angel.
Boy : Balotelli
Girl : Whoa and what does that one mean???😘😘😘
Boy : I love you too…😎😎😎
Girl : Awwwwww..😍😍😍 oh how sweet..

I don’t know why drunk people love to speak
near other people’s faces.

The reason my friend got divorced.
On his birthday, his
wife didn’t wish him, his parents
forgot and so did his kids.
He went to work, Even his
colleagues
didn’t wish him….
As he entered his cabin his
secretary
said,” Happy Birthday Boss” he felty
so special, She asked him out to
lunch.
After lunch,she invited him to her
apartment.
They went there,
She said in a sexy voice,”Do you
mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute?”
“OKAY”, he said nervously
She came out 5 min later with a
cake and his Wife, his Parents, his
Kids, his Friends,his inlaws and his
Colleagues…
All Screaming, SURPRISE!
SURPRISE!
And he was waiting on the
sofa……NAKED!