After sex🍆🍑….
Girl: babie i need iphone 7 or samsung galaxy s8 edge….
Me: it was just sex so stop acting like you gave me your kidney!!!
😂😂😂men can be rude sometimes
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And at the end of the day I know I did the best I could do
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You’All Are Marrying For Looks..I’m Marrying For Love,
If My Kids Are Ugly that’s their Problem
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For an adult, eating alone at McDonald’s
is admitting a kind of defeat.
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First time I cut was just to feel the pain,
Strange because I didn’t feel a thing.
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A farmer drove to a neighbours farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or your mum home?” said the farmer. “No, they went to town.” “How about your brother, Jack? Is he here?” “No, he went with Mum and Dad.” The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself. “ I can give dad a message.” said the boy. “Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother, Jack, getting my daughter Susie pregnant”. The boy thought for a moment“ You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don’t know how much he charges for Jack.”
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Death shall come knocking on one’s door when it’s time.
Will you be ready to meet what awaits you on the other side?
Remember all your good acts will never save you.
Only Jesus is the Way
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My girlfriend has trust issues
–
Her: where are you?
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Me: in a taxi
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Her: give the taxi driver the phone
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When I’m Mad At Bae😏
I Even Remove Her From “Bluetooth Paired Device”
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If you can actually count your money,
then you’re not a rich man.
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Its Friday the beginning of the weekend spend this day wisely and cleverly so…that can only be done if you behave yourself…enjoy your weekend I mean its a Tagwa day don’t let it go to waste Tagwa
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Put a frog into a vessel fill with water and start heating the water. As the temperature of the water begins to rise, the frog adjust its body temperature accordingly. The frog keeps adjusting its body temperature with the increasing temperature of the water. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog cannot adjust anymore. At this point the frog decides to jump out. The frog tries to jump but it is unable to do so because it has lost all its strength in adjusting with the rising water temperature. Very soon the frog dies.
What killed the frog?
Think about it!
I know many of us will say the boiling water. But the truth about what killed the frog was its own inability to decide when to jump out.
We all need to adjust with people & situations, but we need to be sure when we need to adjust & when we need to move on. There are times when we need to face the situation and take appropriate actions.
If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.
Let us decide when to jump!
Let’s jump while we still have the strength.
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A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.”
The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day the grandmother died.
“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically went into shock.
He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day? You’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch!”
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WHICH OF THIS SENTENCE DO YOU LIKE
HEARIN IN SECONDARY SCHOOL ABOUT YOUR
MATHS TEACHER.
1.Maths Teacher Is Not In School
2.Maths Teacher Will Not Be Coming To
School Throughout This Week.
3.Math Teacher Is Sick
4.Maths Teacher Is Dead.
5.Maths Teacher Has Been Fired.
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Sometimes Am Single,
Sometimes Am in a Relationship,
Sometimes Am Searching,
Sometimes It’s Complicated
It depends on who is asking
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I have never seen a Pregnant Chinese Woman……Have you?
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