My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again. I don’t understand the sudden change of heart, but who am I to ask. I’m so lucky…
I mean, first I won the lottery and now this!
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Sub Categories
LOVE
is not about whom
you have known the longest
OR
Who came first
OR
Who cares the best
It’s all about WHO CAME &
NEVER LEFT.
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Teacher: John what is 9-8
John : i don’t know sir
Teacher: okay you have 9 beers and ben takes 8 beers what will be left
John: 9 beers and a dead man
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This thing of applying for jobs online is rubbish waitse..where do I pour my anointing oil now…on the memory stick or on the whole computer..where? Where?? Where???
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Stop taking pictures in people’s cars and at
people’s gates,
your village people will kill you for nothing
thinking you have made it in life
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ROBOT FOR SALE:
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, “I did some homework.”
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, “Ok, Ok, I was at a friend’s house watching movies.”
Dad asks, “What movie did you watch?”
Son says, “Toy Story.”
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, “Ok, Ok, we were watching p*rn.”
Dad says, “What? At your age I didn’t even know what p*rn was.”
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, “Well, he certainly is your son.”
The robot slaps the mother.
Robot for sale.
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A doctor came across a patient he had valued for years and
saw that he was carrying sleeping pills in his hand, so wanted
to warn him: – Mr. Brown, I see sleeping pills you use, sometimes you may need it, but I want to warn you, those pills are very effective and addictive. The patient laughed and said that: – No, doctor. That’s no true. I’ve been using this medicine for 20 years, the pills have never become addictive!
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Tebza:No words can describe ur beauty
Lebo:Ncooooo Thank u
Tebza:But numbers can hae (2/10) shame
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“Nyaa was the only black man on a cruise ship that was about to sink.He was the toilet cleaner on that ship.
The white people looked among themselves for someone to pray but no one wanted to as everyone was scared!”
With tears in his eyes,the ship captain seddenly spotted Nyaa.He pointed his finger at him and shouted,”You! Pray For Us!”
Afraid,He would be punished for not listening,Nyaa agreed and started his prayer with confidence..
“Lord,as I was boarding this ship,it said “Whites Only!”
When I wanted to use the Bathroom,the sign said,”Whites Only!”
When I went to the Tables for food,it said,”Whites Only!”
So Lord, as this Ship is about to sink,I pray that the same rule apply..
“Amen!”
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If she tells you “I love you from the bottom of my heart”,
My brother ask her who is at the top.
We can’t be wasting our resources
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Two policemen call the station on the radio.
“Hello. Is that the Sarge?”….”Yes?”
“A woman has shot her husband for
stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.”
“Have you arrested the woman?”
“No Sarge. The floor is still wet.”
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Hey you, yeah it’s you that is reading this status,
you have a chance to win an iPhone, a Car, or a vacation in Dubai…….
use a sharp object to scratch here▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Please Do This Now..hurry and be the first…
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She’s your girl. She’s supposed to be that curious person who wants to know where you are, what you’re doing, and who you’re with so she can have peace of mind.
She’s supposed to be that talkative person who wants to constantly text you throughout the day or call you just to hear your voice.
She’s supposed to be that attentive person who shows you that you are her favorite distraction from everything else that’s going on with her.
She’s supposed to be that affectionate person who likes to kiss you all over the place without caring who’s looking.
She’s supposed to be that jealous person who feels some type of way when she sees you talking a girl a lot.
She’s supposed to be that annoying person who gets mad over little things because every thing you do affects her.
She’s supposed to be that vulnerable person who’s sensitive who everything you say to her.
She’s supposed to be that loving person who puts you before herself. She just hopes you won’t get sick of it one day, because she doesn’t know how to show she cares any other way.
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Teacher: “John, write a sentence on the board.”
Little John wrote: “My penis in your hand.”
.
The teacher slap poor little John.
.
Little John: “Oh my!! I forgot to put a space between pen and is.!”
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Teacher :”kids tell me what your
parents do for a living”
Panado :”my mom is a teacher and my
dad is a mechanic”
Teacher: “good”
Nonto:”my mom is unemployed and my dad is a teacher”
Teacher :”good”
Nyaa: “my mom is a prostitute
and i don’t know my dad”
Teacher : “get out of my class and go to
principal’s office,and tell him what you just told me”
10 minutes later Nyaa returns smiling
and eating an apple
Teacher: “why are you smiling?did you
tell the principal what you told me?”
Nyaa: “yes I did”
Teacher : “what did he say?”
Nyaa: “he just gave me an apple and
asked me to give him my mom’s
phone number and address”.
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3 things you cant recover in life.
The MOMENT after its missed
The WORD after its said and
the TIME after its wasted.
Good Morning
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