People wake up earlier on them holidays but during school days it seems like they are chained on bed.😦
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Witchcraft is when tou through a pizza box
outside and nobody sees you!!
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A guy was on a bus and his phone rang. It
was his wife calling he wanted to show off
so he decided to put his phone on
loudspeaker and answered..Him: Hi
sweetheart miss me already baby?.Wife:
Your Shitt! Miss who?
You ate the baby’s youghurt and ran away
you pig
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I was in a taxi and there was this muscular and wierd looking guy sitting at the back seat… His phone rings and he answers “yes boss, I’m with him in the same taxi, When he gets off, I’ll shoot him”
Well, we are now at the taxi driver’s house because no one wants to get down.
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CONVERSATION BETWEEN A MAD MAN AND A NORMAL MAN*
*Normal Man:* Why is that you people (mad people) always laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about?
*Mad man:* Its because you people don’t see what we see.
*Normal Man:* What do you people see?
*Mad man:* Have u ever seen an ant breastfeeding it babies? Or dogs having a marriage ceremony?
*Normal Man:* (Burst out with laughter..) Hahahaha!!! (and accidentally puffed)
*Mad man:* See how you are laughing and puffing now without even seeing anything.. what more will you do if you see those things? Obvious!! You will need pampers!
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Thanks to social distance
I’m tired of those who sleeps on my shoulder at taxi
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Why do people with closed minds
always open their mouths?
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Me:its over.
Her: But you said only death could do us apart.
Me :We did not specify whose death will do us apart
anyway I just lost my granny, its over.
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The Cutest Proposal of the world from a
cute girl to a boy… Girl : “Hey, I have
lost my Surname.. Can I use Yours”…
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Some Kid In A Taxi Today Askes Her Pregnant Mom
Kid : Mom whats in your stomach
Mom : A baby
Kid : Do you love her ?
Mom : yes
Kid : why did you eat it
Mom : fainted 🙆
But i Can’t laugh
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Can’t believe my mom she was hiding the dangerous secret from me for the past 19 years that she’s a woman😔 If it wasn’t my uncle who told me today I would have gone to the grave without acknowledging it😌
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Dear Girls
Next time if you go through your man’s phone, don’t check if he’s cheating just go to his banking app and send yourself money
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If you are lonely when you’re alone,
you are in bad company.
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People who log in to WhatsApp only to monitor people’s last seen are more dangerous than a sword..
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When you’re Single,You See Happy
Couples Everywhere, But When you get
Married, You See Happy Singles Everywhere*.
*This witchcraft is difficult to explain*
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*Love Your*
*”Own Beautiful Wife”*
🔹Don’t shout at your
wife when you are
talking. It really
hurts her.
*Proverbs 15:1*
🔹Do not speak evil
of her to anyone.
Your wife will become
who you call her.
*Gen. 2:19*
🔹Do not share her love
or affection with another
woman.
It is called Adultery.
*Matt. 5:28*
🔹Never compare your
wife to another woman.
If the other woman was
good for you, God would
have given her to you.
*2 Cor. 10:12*
🔹Be gentle and
accommodating. She
has sacrificed so much
to be with you.
It hurts her deeply
when you are hash
and irritating.
Be tender.
*Eph. 4:2*
🔹Hide nothing from her.
You are now one and
she’s your helpmate.
Let there be no secret
you are keeping
from her.
*Gen. 2:25*
🔹Do not make negative
comment about her
body. She risked her
life and beauty to carry
your babies. She is a
living soul not just
flesh and blood.
*Proverbs 18:22*
🔹Do not let her body
determine her worth.
Cherish and appreciate
her even till old age.
*Eph. 5:29*
🔹Never shout at her
in the public and in
private. If you have
an issue to sort with
her, do it in the privacy
of your room.
*Matt. 1:19*
🔹Thank and appreciate
her for taking good
care of you, the kids
and the house. It is
a great sacrifice she
is making.
*1 Thesso. 5:18*
🔹All women cannot
cook the same way;
appreciate your
wife’s food.
It is not easy to cook
three meals a day,
365 days a year
for several years.
*Pro. 31:14*
🔹Never place your
siblings before her.
She is your wife.
She is one with you.
She must come
before your family.
*Gen. 2:24*
d.
That’s the best thing
you can do for her.
*Eph. 5:26*
🔹Spend time with her
to do Bible study
and pray.
*James 5:16*
🔹Make time to play
with her and enjoy
her company.
Remember when you
are dead, she’s gonna
be by your grave but
your friends may be
too busy to attend
your funeral.
*Ecc. 9:9*
🔹Never use money
to manipulate or
control her. All your
money belongs to
her. She is a joint heir
with you of the
grace of God.
*1 Pet. 3:7*
🔹Do not expose her
weakness. You will be
exposing yourself too.
Be a shield around her.
*Eph. 5:30*
🔹Honour her parents
and be kind to her
siblings.
*SOS. 8:2*
🔹Never cease to tell
her how much you
love her all the days
of her life. Women
are never tired of
hearing that.
*Eph. 5:25*
🔹Grow to be like Jesus.
That’s the only way
you can be a good
and godly husband.
*Rom. 8:29*
*SAVE A HOME TODAY,*
*PASS IT ON*
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