12 Rules of Street Football⚽

When We Were Kids…
1. The fat kid was always the goalkeeper⚽🤣
2. The owner of the ball decides who plays.
3. Penalties were🤣 awarded only if injured player curses a lot.
4. The match only ends when everyone is tired😂.
5. No matter how many goals you score, the winner will be determined by the last team to score.😂
6. No referees and linesmen. You could run with the ball even behind the goal post.🤣
7. If you don’t participate in repairing the ball, you will be given a match ban.😂
8. If you’re picked last, you’re a loser.
9. The guy who’s never picked was to fetch the ball from the tree when it got stuck, under the car or in another person’s compound to play in the next game😁.
10. When the owner of the ball gets annoyed, game over!😅
11. You were allowed to change a goalkeeper in case of a penalty.⚽
12. The most skillful player get an automatic selection.True or false?🤣

Decade = 10 years
Century = 100 years
Millennium = 1,000 years
A girl tells you we will be Together forever = 1month

I went to a restaurant.
It was full; no place to sit…
I took out my mobile,
Placed it to my ear and said loudly- “Bro
come fast, she’s here with someone else…
Six women ran away

Father: Dude, why did you break up with her? She was a good woman..!?
•°•
Son: She’s a murderer, she killed a spider in my room. How can I date someone who ruined my chances of becoming spiderman..

Just because I’m not your boyfriend it doesn’t mean
you’re not my girlfriend

RULES AND REGULATION FOR MY FUTURE WIFE
1. My future wife is not allowed to have more than 3 male friends: Me, her dad and her brother (if you have two brother
you better pick your favourite)
2. My future wife is not allowed to pray silently. I wanna know
what’s going on between you and Jesus.
3. If my future wife wants to comment on any guy’s post we
must first discuss about it.
4. My future wife is not allowed to work.. Cause being with me is a full time job”
5. My future wife is not allowed to hide her phone from me. As
long as we’re together it’s not an iPhone it’s a “wePhone”.
6. My future wife is not allowed to sleep unless I’m watching
her. If she laughs in her sleep I’m coming into her dreams to see what’s so funny…
I am caring. Right?

Do your parents know that 70% of the time
you are at university
you don’t sleep on your bed

DON’T VISIT VERY RICH RELATIVES OR FRIENDS

I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked.*
MAID: What would u like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?
ME: Ceylon Tea pls.
MAID: How do U want it, black or white?
ME: White….
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would U like it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Aiyo! forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: Flavored or non flavored?
ME: Infact, get me an empty glass!
MAID: Do you want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug?
ME: Free me, I will swallow my spit…”

Welcome to Africa where people kill Snakes and Later pay to see them in the ZOO