A serial killer broke into a house and confronted a couple. The serial killer asks “what are your names? i would like to know my victims’ names before i kill them”. Then the woman said “my name is Elizabeth”. Then the
killer said, “i will not kill you because my mother is Elizabeth. The killer then turned to the terified man and said “HEY YOU!!, what is your name?” Then the man responded,
“i am Bob but my friends call me Elizabeth.”
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Where can i do a DNA test i want to make sure it’s me😐
Im Not someone else
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A man happily updated his status on facebook ‘Thank you God😍😍…..i have just got my salary’ 10 minutes later he was so sad😐😏 and down😪….!
Do you know why…….???
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His landlord liked his status
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Don’t say we are not right for each other.
The way I see it,
we are not right for anybody else.
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Man to pretty girl in a party.
.
MAN: I couldn’t find my wife here, can you
please talk to me for a while?
.
GIRL: Why?
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MAN: because everytime I talk to any girl,
my wife just appears out of nowhere
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I have made mistakes and am the one who will
correct those and at the end I will be the one with success..
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A certain man found his wife with another
man in his bedroom.Instead of shouting or
beating both of them, he just looked at them and
went back to the sitting room. He switched on the
Television and started watching some gospel
videos. The wife and the Boyfriend were in panic.
The boyfriend dressed up and came by the sitting
room then he said, “Sir am sorry for sleeping with
your wife”
Husband “It happens you can go..”
The boyfriend left.
The wife never came out from the bedroom till it
was time to sleep. The husband switched off the
Television and went to sleep in the bedroom. He
found her wife sitted on the floor crying. The
husband never said anything or even asking her.
He just slept on his bed and covered himself with
some blankets. In the morning when he woke up,
he found his wife dead. The wife committed
suicide in the middle of night as her husband was
sleeping.
QUESTION.
Who was not fair?
1. The husband,
2. The wife or
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Did the priest lie??
A distinguished young woman on a flight from
Ireland asked the Priest beside her: “Father,
may I ask a favor?”
Priest: “Of course. What may I do for you?
Woman: “Well, I bought an expensive woman’s
electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday
that is unopened and well over the Customs
limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is
there any way you could carry it through
Customs for me……….. Under your robe
perhaps?”
Priest: “I would love to help you, dear, but I
must warn you: I will not lie.”
Woman: “With your honest face, Father, no
one will question you.”
When they got to Customs, she let the priest
go ahead of her.
Custom Officer: “Father, do you have anything
to declare?”
Priest: “From the top of my head down to my
waist, I have nothing to declare. ”
The official thought this answer strange.
Custom Officer: “And what do you have to
declare from your waist to the floor?”
Priest: “I have a marvelous instrument
designed to be used on a woman, but which
is, to date, unused.”
Custom Officer: (Roaring with laughter, said)
“Go ahead Father.” Next!
Did the priest lie?
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If you meet a woman that admit she’s wrong, apologises and changes her ways. Dump her, that might be a man, women don’t do that..!
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Forgive us people from China, Korea Republic and Japan.
To us South Africans you are all Chinese. Xap
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When I gaze deep into your mind, I am met with the beauty of a thousand diamonds. As I let that love and beauty flood over my body, I knew that there was nothing that I would ever trade our relationship for.
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Don’t settle for an unhealthy relationship. Don’t settle for mediocrity. Don’t waste time trying to change someone. Just because you’re capable of dealing with negativity, it doesn’t mean you should have to. It is not your responsibility to “fix” people. Instead, find somebody you like exactly as they are (flaws and annoying habits included)
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Love❤ is a very strong feeling of affection towards someone 💏who you are romantically attracted to. You say that you❤ love ❤someone when their happiness is very important to you, so that you behave in a kind and caring way towards them.
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My fat neighbor wanted to hang her self now
the whole house has collapsed
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School trip
WHITE kids : Burger , drink, apple and 10 rand for ice cream
BLACKS kids : 4 piece KFC, pizza , sausage roll, 2 liter coke, fruit juices, chocolate, Lays, mix fruits;, smarties, danone, ice cream, 100 rand pocket money, and a blanket
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He said you’re the most beautiful girl in the world
and you start sleeping with him…
my sister is that how you reward liars
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