My Ex will do anything just to make me jealous.
She even hug Trees nowadays

Imagine attending your friend’s funeral then you receive a text saying “Thanks for coming friend, i love you so much”

CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK ,
EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID ,
EXCEPT YOU!

If Girlfriends Know How Many Girls We Ignore in A Day Just For Them, They Will Be Paying Us Salary

Your parents are still alive and together ,But when you are asked “Who is your favourite couple?” You answer “Jay Z and Beyonce”……Hmmmm my sister you need a very hot High five on your face.

Short chicks are funny when they pissed off
looking like a little toy with new batteries

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie! The genie said, “OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish. The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then he said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?” The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete… how much steel…! No. Think of another wish.” The man tried to think of another wish. Finally, he said, “I’ve been married and divorced several times. My wives always said that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So I wish that I could understand women… know how they feel inside and what they’re thinking when they give me the silent treatment…know why they’re crying…know what they really want when they say, ‘Nothing’…know how to make them truly happy….” The genie said, “You want that bridge two lanes or four?”

Don’t Date Me Coz I’m Too Broke ,
All i Have To Offer is “Good Morning Baby♥” Text