A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.
“To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,” the attorney reads.
“To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.”
“And finally,” the lawyer concludes, “to my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong” (Nyaa smiles hysterically)
And the lawyer continued…
“To my cousin Nyaa, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will. Well, you were wrong,
Hi Nyaa!”

A Guy gets out of lift on 7th floor instead of 9th floor.

He says- I was so busy checking messages on my whatsapp…without realising, I went into the neighbour’s house and sat on their sofa.

The lady of the house was glued to the TV… watching a series…She gave me tea without looking at me.

When I started drinking Tea, I looked up and saw the lady’s husband entering the house….looking into his mobile.

He saw me and said, “sorry” and went out of the house !!!

When She’s Explaining How Her Man Played Her,,
And You Gotta Act Surprise Like Aint Gonna Do The Same

BREAKING NEWS

A 72 seater bus belonging to zupco and a truck Carrying cargo from South Africa today around 11am just 20km before Bulawayo stopped and drivers greeted each other as they used to work together at Zupco buses.
Drivers don’t forget each other on the road.

Thank you for paying attention.

INTERNATIONAL RULES OF MANHOOD

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an
umbrella.

2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the
following
circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its
master.
b. The moment Julie G. starts unbuttoning her
blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss’ car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The
Crying Game”.
e. When she is using her teeth.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party
may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you
must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours,
his sister is off limits forever unless you actually
marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in
a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at
will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall
never be required to buy a birthday
present for another man. In fact, even remembering
your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.

NAKED TRUTH
*Strange things we do in Africa in the name of “It’s Our Culture*
*1. We care more for the dead than we do for the living!*
*2. We spend more to bury a person than we do to save his/her life.*
*3. We will not travel to go see a sick relative but will travel to bury him/her*
*4. People will rarely respect you while alive but will want to “pay their last respects” to your casket.*
*5. A person may NEVER receive roses in
his/her entire life but he/she will get lots dumped on his/her coffin and graveyard!*
*6. We will spend a night at a neighbour’s funeral and it will be our first time to see the inside of his/her house!*
*7. No one gives a damn to know your village until you die and they will all fill cars after cars to “escort” your corpse*
*8. We will take the dead to the mosque/temple/
church knowing full well that he or she had nothing to do with worship while alive.*
*9. We might not have granite tops in our kitchens but use the granite in the graveyard!*
*10. An entire village might not have a single house with cement floor but the only place with cement floor will be the tomb of a late illustrious son or daughter!*
*We need “Cultural Reforms”. We have a culture of “hypocrisy”
… a culture that is “Pro-death” and NOT “Pro-life!”*
*We need to value life BEFORE death.*
Please love me while I am alive. Show me your kindness now that I need it. Your presence at my funeral will never make up for your absence when I have the greatest need of you. Do it now than regret later.
*This got me thinking

Some girls are wicked😏,
I told my girlfriend that “I can die for you”
and she said “Prove it’

Nelson Mandela has changed his
profile picture on the South African money