Next Month im getting married
With or without a Wife.

A female class teacher was
having a problem
with a boy in her class in Grade
3. The boy
said, “Madam, I should be in
Grade 4. I am
smarter than my sister and she’s
in Grade
4”. The Madam had heard
enough and took
the boy to the principal. The
principal
decided to test the boy with
some questions
from Grade 4.
PRINCIPAL: What is 3+3?
BOY: 6.
PRINCIPAL: 6+6.
BOY: 12.
The boy got all the questions
right. The
principal told the Madam to send
the boy to
Grade 4 immediately. The Madam
decided to
ask her own questions and the
principal
agreed.
MADAM: What does a cow have 4
of that I
have only 2?
BOY: Legs.
MADAM: What is in your trousers
that I don’t
have?
BOY: Pockets.
MADAM: What starts wit a C and
ends with T,
is hairy, oval, delicious and
contains thin,
whitish liquid?
BOY: Coconut.
MADAM: What goes in hard and
then comes
out soft and sticky?
*The principal’s eyes opened
really wide, but
before he could stop the answer,
the boy was taking charge*
BOY: Bubble gum.
MADAM: You stick your pole
inside me. You
tie me down to get me up, I get
wet before
you do.
BOY: Tent.
*The principal was looking
restless*
MADAM: A finger goes in me. You
fiddle with
me when you are bored. The
best man
always has me first?.
BOY: Wedding ring.
MADAM: I come in many sizes.
When I’m not
well, I Drip. When you blow me,
you feel
good?
BOY: Nose.
MADAM: I have a stiff shaft. My tip
penetrates, I come with a quiver.
BOY: Arrow.
PRINCIPAL: OMG.
MADAM: What starts with ‘F’ and
ends wit a
‘K’ and if you don’t get it, you
have to use
your hand?
BOY: Fork.
MADAM: What is it that all men
have, it’s
longer in some men than others,
the Pope
doesn’t use it and a man gives it
to his wife
after marriage?
BOY: Surname.
PRINCIPAL: Ohooo jeeees..!!!!!
MADAM: What part of the man
has no bone
but has muscles with a lot of
veins like
pumpkin and is responsible for
making
love?
BOY: Heart.
PRINCIPAL: Holy shi………..Eeeeeh!!..
The principal took a calm breath and
said to the Madam,
“Send this ”BLOODY BOY” to the
university…
Even I myself got all the questions wrong

Bride: Free mode
Groom: Free mode
•°••°•°••°•
Are we going to eat at your wedding..??

If you have a happy relationship, then it’s obvious that
you’re dating the wrong person

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING ….

Stolen:

I sent R1000 to a wrong number using ewallet

After realizing this, Icalmed down and sent him/her this text message:

“Hello Dear, I hope you got the membership welcome fee of R1000 to our Satanism Church. We are glad and looking forward to having you with us.

That is just the beginning of the richest life you are about to start living. We hope you are as excited to be joining our church as we are. As I just said, that is a
welcome salary.

We are having a meeting tonight whereby we will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the start of this month. Please invite over any female person you may be close to. Lets meet tonight at 8pm at YOUR PLACE.

If you haven’t shown any interest in our church and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send the money back to this number otherwise welcome to our Church. See you tonight.”

10 Minutes later, I got a message saying send another R1000 my friend is also interested’.

I fainted, people are so broke these days.

Mr. Jones is traveling with his wife and mother-in-law in a far east country. At a place of honor his mother-in-law makes a careless remark, which the native people take as an insult to the royal family.

Mr. Jones is dragged off to court with his wife and mother-in-law and are sentenced to corporal punishment. Each of them are to receive 50 lashes on the rear end with a cane. But because the royal family doesn’t want to appear hostile to foreigners, they grant the guests in their country a wish beforehand, as long as it is able to be fulfilled.

Mrs. Jones is first.

“What do you wish for yourself?”

“I would like a pillow bound on my rear end before the lashings.”

“Okay, that shall be granted to you.”

Mrs. Jones has the pillow bound to her rear end and receives her punishment. But because the pillow is too small and the executioner also hits her back a couple of times, she receives a few blows.

Next it is Mr. Jones’ mother-in-law’s turn.

“What do you wish for yourself?”

“I would like a pillow bound on my rear end and a pillow bound on my back before the lashings.”

“Okay, that shall be granted to you.”

The mother-in-law receives her fifty lashes, but hardly feels the pain through the pillows.

Then comes Mr. Jones himself.

“What do you wish for yourself?”

“I have two wishes. Do you want to fulfill them for me?”

“Because you are a guest in our country, we want to fulfill your wishes for you, as long as they are reasonable.”

“I would like 100 lashes instead of 50.”

The executioner is surprised, but recovers again right away and replies, “Yes, that is a pious wish, it shall be granted to you. And what is your second wish?”

“I would like to have my mother-in-law bound to my back.

i Pretend As if Everything is Fine ,
But Deep Down i Know That i Want A Gun

“A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.
-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.
Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.
The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.
The client went into his room, he didn’t ask for food or anything else.
Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.
After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client’s room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.
The boss didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.
In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.
He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.
The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.
The boss was in a shock but he didn’t reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.
After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.
The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.
This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.
Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn’t leave his face.
The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn’t arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.
The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.
To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.
The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.
In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.
-”If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?”
-”I promise I will never let anyone know”.
-”Swear”
-”I swear I won’t reveal your secret”
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.
Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Uptil now he hasn’t revealed his secret to anyone.
When he does, I will let you know… “��

When a girl rejects me,I tell myself that
she’s HIV positive and she don’t want to infect me
Finish&klaar