Tox : Happy Valentine sweetie.
Girl: Thanks honey. Where’s my
Valentine’s gift?
Tox : (Points out) Can you see that brand new
red BMW X6 parked over there?
Girl: Oh my God! Yes! Yes! Yes! I can’t
believe this.
Tox : I bought you a toothbrush of
the same color

*How to TALK *
Talk to *Mother* _lovingly,_
Talk 2 *Father* _respectfully,_
Talk 2 *Brothers* _heartfully,_
Talk 2 *Sisters* _affectionately,_
Talk 2 *Children* _enthusiastically,_
Talk 2 *Relatives* _empathetically,_
Talk 2 *Friends* _jovially,_
Talk 2 *Officials* _politely,_
Talk 2 *Vendors* _strictly,_
Talk 2 *Customers* _honestly,_
Talk 2 *Workers* _courteously,_
Talk 2 *Politicians* _carefully,_
Talk 2 *GOD* _silently,_
Talk to *WIFE*
~no no~ ……
*KEEP QUIET & LISTEN ONLY…!!!*

I just smoked weed for the first time and
this thing is so weak it has no effect on me.
Nothing has changed cause
I am still sitting on the TV watching the Sofa.

Wife sent a message to her husband: “Don’t forget to buy vegetables on your way back from office, and Priscilla says hi to you!
.
HUSBAND: Who is Priscilla?
.
WIFE: Nobody, I was just making sure that you read my message!
.
.
~~TWIST THE TALE~~
.
.
HUSBAND: But I’m with Priscilla right now, so which Priscilla are you talking about?
.
WIFE: Where are you..?
HUSBAND: Near the vegetable market!
.
WIFE: Wait I’m coming there right now!
.
After 10 minutes she texts her husband “Where are you”?
.
HUSBAND: “I’m at office.., and Now that you’re at the market, buy whatever vegetables you need…

*Trouble* is when the pastor says “Those who want their businesses to grow should come up front.”

Then the owner of the local mortuary stands up!

Husband (text): Babe I was in an accident. I got hit by a car. Zinhle took me to the hospital.
I have a dislocated shoulder and the doctors say I may never walk again…
.
.
Wife: Baby, who the hell Zinhle???
.
.
Girls

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on his wife’s movements. The husband demanded more than just a written report – he wanted a video of his wife’s activities. A week later, the detective returned with a tape and sat down to watch it with the husband. As the tape played, he saw his wife meeting another man. He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them having a playful fight in the street. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. When the tape ended, the distraught husband said: “I can’t believe this !” “What’s not to believe?” asked the detective. “It’s right up there on the screen. The camera never lies.” The husband replied: “What I mean is,
I can’t believe my wife is so much fun!”

Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed.
Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money

Yesterday i Was in Town .. i Saw This Beautiful Girl Waving And i Waved Back , Well She Wasn’t Waving At Me But To This Guy Standing Next To Me So To Avoid The Awkwardness i Kept My Hand Up , The Taxi Stopped .. Now I’m in Lesotho Starting A New Life

In Order to have a Girlfriend Nowadays My Broda you must be Alright Physically,Emotionally,Mentally ,Kissically,Motorcally and Walletically