I went to West Nile last week and people sarounding me to see me just because I was the only brown man in the all region
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A Pastor found a baboon that could talk. So he taught it how to sing, pray and preach.
At one Sunday service, the Pastor said to the congregation,
“The Baboon is going to pray today.”
The Baboon sat still and the Pastor repeated over and over again “The Baboon is going to pray today”, but the Baboon did not respond.
After the service pastor asked the Baboon, “Why didn’t you want to pray when I asked you to?” and the Baboon answered, “Was it necessary to call me Baboon? Everybody here is referred to as Brother irrespective of their status in life. You could have at least said Brother Babs!” 
Everyone deserve little R*E*S*P*E*C*T
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Three things cannot be long hidden ……
The sun, The moon
and The truth.
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I need to Quit Drinking beer .
The problem is people will say I quit bcoz it’s January.
So I will quit in August.
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“It’s over between us” these words will make you
search for your shoes in the fridge! 
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A teacher said to her class, “Right, I am holding something under the desk and I want you to guess it. It’s round and red” Calvin’s hand shot up, above anyone else but he was ignored.
“It’s a plum miss,” said Nthabi.
“No, it’s an apple, but I like your thinking. The next one is oval shaped and green.”
The teacher ignored Calvin again and Mandla said , “It’s a kiwi miss.”
“No, its a guava, but I like your thinking.”
Calvin then said, “I got one miss, it’s stiff, about 2 inches long and with a red head.”
“Calvin, that’s disgusting!” Shouted the teacher.
“No, it’s a match stick, but l like your thinking.” Said Calvin.
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If You Ever Get Caught Sleeping At Work
Just Slowly Raise Your Head And Say:
”In Jesus Name Amen”..! 
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Matt: Hey Dr. Park, this is Matt from the Vascular lab. I have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pin and numbness that started 3 days ago. What should I do with her?
Hannah: Hi, this is Hannah. I think you have the wrong number, but I Googled it and I’m pretty sure u need to put a stent in her left radial artery. Best of luck, Matt!
Matt: Sorry, wrong number Hannah. She ended up actually getting a stent. Took about 3 hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you 3 minutes.
Hannah: Yoooo, yall hiring?
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Dear person reading this,
You deserve a life full of happiness and positivity.
So don’t let others get to you and believe in yourself.
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Dating a guy on social media without seeing each other
is like having a spiritual husband!
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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
“Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”
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A doctor came across a patient he had valued for years and
saw that he was carrying sleeping pills in his hand, so wanted
to warn him: – Mr. Brown, I see sleeping pills you use, sometimes you may need it, but I want to warn you, those pills are very effective and addictive. The patient laughed and said that: – No, doctor. That’s no true. I’ve been using this medicine for 20 years, the pills have never become addictive!
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You go to School, nothing happens, You miss one day … 6 fights , teacher Slapped the guard, Tupac comes back ,The principal was drunk and even Benny Mayengani performed in the Tuck Shop
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When I drink alcohol…
Everyone says I’m alcoholic.
But… When I drink Fanta..
No one says I’m fantastic.
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I hate people who speak big grammar
just to make you feel PERSPICACIOUS
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Private school: Good morning class
Learners: Good Morning Teacher
Government school: Good Morning Class
Learners: Goooooooood Mooooorniiiing Teeeeaaacheeeeer
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