My wife asked me why i am always calm when we fight, i said to her because afterwards i clean a toilet with your teeth brush.
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My wife asked me why i am always calm when we fight, i said to her because afterwards i clean a toilet with your teeth brush.
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Me : babe it’s OVER 😔😔…
My abusive girlfriend : What??? 😠😠😡😡
Me : it’s over the table babe🙁🙁
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I refuse to die until I know the relationship between
peanut butter and the cat!🐈
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A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn’t.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
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can I ask this question?
I just finished eating in my friend’s house.. How
long should I stay before going… So that they
won’t think it was only food I came to eat?
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Rainbow and Lerato in courtroom
Judge: Why did you hit ur wife with a chair??
Rainbow: I couldn’t lift a table…
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WONDERS SHALL NEVER CEASE!!
*BREAKING* *NEWS* .
*Man sees his dead wife living with another man in Rusape*
A man from Chitungwiza James Chanda caused a heavy traffic jam today in Rusape. He said he travelled to Rusape a day before
yesterday being 3rd July 2018 to visit his one time colleague.
While walking along the street he stumbled on his wife who died two years ago in his home in Chitungwiza.
According to him, he said; ”my wife died of road traffic
accident two years ago and I
buried her in my home in Chitungwiza but I am shocked to see her with a man who was carrying her in a corrola(taxi). At first, I hesitated but I summoned courage and when I called her by her name, on turning to see me she disappeared”.
Our correspondent also said that the said man who was driving her in his corrola fainted on seeing what happened.
When he regained consciousness he narrated his own story saying that he had lived with her for 8months.He also said that she moved in with him after they met in a church and it was love at first sight. I have begged to meet her people and marry her. She told me she was all alone in town working but told me she was from Mutoko. I have many times requested that I meet her people but she would
decline saying that her people are evil. She decided we move in together before meeting her people after getting our firstborn child because she is seven months pregnant.
this world is tricky eh!.This is how I dreamt after eating sadza that’s why I don’t usually eat and sleep immediately😰😰
Thanks for reading…..have a good day
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He was my crush until he posted”Iam a 27 year old handsome, hardworking, GOD fearing young man, an engineer, and looking for a cute hairy👌, beautiful👌, well structured and young black goat to buy for easter. Thanks
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I Sent A Text To My Wife Last Night: “Hi Babe I’m At The Pub With Some Lads, Please Try And Wash All My Dirty Clothes And Make Sure You Prepare My Favourite Dish Before I Return.”
I Sent Another Text: “Babe I Forgot To Tell You That I Got An Increase In My Salary At The End Of The Month I’m Getting You A New Car”
She Text Back In One Second: “OMG Really?”
I Replied: “No I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got My First Message.“
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Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Me: I’d rather not, I really need this job!
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Have you noticed???
~•°•~•°•~
Nobody Drinks Alcohol🍺
Faster Than Someone Who Didn’t Pay for it!!
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I will never allow my Grandma to stay in an old age home🙅♀️
She’s gonna stay with my sister.
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My mom just looked at my son
and said hi “study group”
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Girl: Why are you followinq me?
Boy: My parents told me to always follow my dreams
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A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.
-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.
Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.
The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.
The client went into his room, he didn’t ask for food or anything else.
Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.
After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client’s room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.
The boss didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.
In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.
He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.
The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.
The boss was in a shock but he didn’t reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.
After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.
The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.
This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.
Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn’t leave his face.
The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn’t arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.
The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.
To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.
The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.
In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.
-”If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?”
-”I promise I will never let anyone know”.
-”Swear”
-”I swear I won’t reveal your secret”
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.
Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Until now he hasn’t revealed his secret to anyone.
When he does, I will let you know… thank you for reading.
Do you want to come and beat me?
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China had invented a machine that catches thieves; they took it out to different countries for a test.
In US, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves;
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves;
Spain, in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves;
Swaziland, in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves;
Zimbabwe in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves;
South Africa, in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
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