The day you stop smoking weed, you will know that a FB post doesn’t have a volume

Have you noticed that most Girls from Rich Families are Shapeless??

You’ll go to your neighbour’s house and see the dog
with no chain…
And they be saying, “Don’t be afraid, it won’t bite” 😲
“Say what!! Are you the dog?
Is the dog you?
No wait, have you been a dog before?” 🤫

Keep your secrets to yourself.
Your best friend has another best friend…

The traffic cops notice a car being driven erratically up ahead and when they draw near they see the driver clattering his dog on its head. They pull him over and the lead cop goes up to the car and says ‘Not only am l booking you for driving without due care and attention, l’m also booking you for cruelty to animals.’ The bloke says ‘lf you knew what this dog had done you’d give him a clout as well’. ‘Why?’ says the cop ‘ What’s he done?’ The bloke says ‘He’s just eaten my licence and insurance.’

That moment when a child hits you in front of her mom,
and you can’t do anything you just be like
” yeeeey wena nana yeeeey ”
with that fake smile wishing her mom wasn’t around

Have you ever made up a fake story and
your loyal friends say i remember that

Women are attracted to stupid shit like guys that can dance.🕺🏽🙄 How is that beneficial? Can he change a tyre?🤔 Is “nay le walk” gonna take you home?

A husband visited a marriage counsellor and said: “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.
Now after ten years it’s different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.”
Said the counsellor: “Why complain. You are still getting the same service.
*In the corporate world they call it…..*
*Job Rotation*!”