I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.
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“True friendship is like sound health;
the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.”
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If you can kiss a woman with lipstick passionately..
My brother you can eat crayons happily.
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*Have u ever been so broke and then yo girlfriend visits. U decide to buy her a drink…. U go 2 the shop with two bottles, buy one Fanta and fill the sprite bottle with water so that u may keep her company as she enjoys yo last coin. And when u get back to the house she says “Baby serve me sprite its my favorite” 😳🙆🏽♂. My brother u will feel the symptoms of ebola
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Most girls reject good guys & choose bad boys,
when they get disappointed they blame all men…
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If u slap me on my right cheek,I’ll turn my left cheek 4 u 2 slap too
Then we’ll sit down as adults&discuss how u want ur funeral
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“Dad, I dont want to go to school today.” said the boy.
“Why not, son?”
“Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week
and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day.
Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day.” “But why dont you want to go today?”
“Because our English teacher died yesterday!”
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A moment of silence to those girls who think their current boyfriends will marry them.*
Am waiting for the rejected ones.
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Let’s talk about how life is so random. How things happen to us at the most unexpected timings.
Let’s talk about how broken we got at times and how strong we stood back again.
And this is what’s interesting about life.
You keep fighting, not to win.
But to keep going.
Good Morning
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They say milk gives strength.
I drank 4 cups of milk yet
I wasnt able to move a wall,
but when i drank 4 bottles of beer
i saw walls moving by themselves.
.
These scientists are bloody liars 😂
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Me, Fight for a lady? Never!!
I’ll rather fight for food at a wedding.
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I brought my village girlfriend flowers then after an hour, my phone rang when I answered my girlfriend said “Baby this spinach that you brought, tastes funny.”
One word for her…
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The spaces between your fingers are meant to be filled with mine.
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Today guys, I was sitting next to this other beautiful girl in the taxi, so I didn’t even know how to approach her as she was wearing a GUCCI t-shirt & iPhone X on her hand, & remember I’m using Mobicel R1, So I just decided to set the alarm for 5 min, I did that, after 5 min my phone started to ring, I pretended as it’s a call , I started to talk , ” hey man , are you done washing my BMW I8 & my Mercedes G63″I said, I pretended as I’m listening ” ohh man how can you wash my Nissan , but anyway it’s fine, I’ll use that one, don’t forget to clean even inside”I said , “Goodbye”…So when I was just finished talking , that Lady whom I was sitting next to , she just said “hello(smilingly)”, I replied back ” HELLO “, in my heart I knew that I’ve won her …Then she said to me “here is your battery, it fell when you were removing your phone from your pocket”, I shouted “taxi driver, drop me here” , I got off from that taxi
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A guy got so high on weed, that he was searching for his phone 📱 with the torchlight 🔦 of the same phone he was looking for. . .
.
He got so worried 😒 about the phone and was almost in tears 😥 even his roommate,who was also high, decided to join him in the search 🔍. . .
.
After 45 minutes of searching, his phone rang, he picked the call and quickly replied the caller “I’ll call you back, I’m looking for my phone ” . . And he angrily ended the call and continued in the search for the phone he just answered a call with. . .
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After a while, he then decided to use the same phone to call his line and when he got the busy network he turned to his roommate and said . . “guy forget, that phone is lost, the person who got it has even blocked me am getting the number busy tone”.😕
.
SAY NO TO DRUGS 🙌
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I will never watch a Nigerian movie again
how can a ghost wear a face mask?
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