Yesterday i took my bicycle nd went to the liquor store nd buy a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket. As i was about to leave, i thought to myself “what if i fall off the bicycle? What will happen to my Bottle 😯😯” so i decided to drink all the whisky before i cycled home. it turned out to be a good decision because i fell seven times on the way home. Imagine what would’ve happened to the bottle.

Somebody kidnap cassper and force him to quit rap😫😫😫

Girls who drink castle lite deserve a
tool box on Valentine’s day

A man calls a radio show during
dedication time.
Man:am calling to report abt a lost
n found item.
Presenter:Go on.
Man:I picked a wallet tht contains
a gold watch,50 k notes n an ID
wth a name Richard Onyango
Presenter:So, yu want me to help
you find the owner?
Man:No!I want to dedicate him
the song U SAVED ME by R. Kelly.

Kids Of 2years Can Now Unlock Phones And Play Candy Crush.
At That Age I Was Chewing Sand🙆

In America, when two lovers stare at each other, they kiss. In Africa, you will hear something like :- “Why are you looking at me, do you want to give me money? ”
Life is so beautiful in South Africa.

Hi guys. I lost my phone with all your contacts. Please DM me with your full names and surname, your number, ID number, certified ID copy of your parent, gender, email address, certified copy of proof of residence and your ID photo.
Thank you.

Shoutout to my school teacher who said
I’m going to end up being a taxi conductor…
Tomorrow’s my 1st day

I remember the Day I was Born…
Yoooh I was Crying Guys…

SHORT TEXT THESE DAYS
Boy: Imu (I miss u)
Girl: mum (miss u more)
Boy: u sure?
Girl: yh trumu ( yaaaaa truly miss u)
Boy: trumutu (truly miss u too)
Girl: trumudi (truly miss u die)
Trumutumtum…truly miss u too much too much
Trumucorcor…truly miss you correct correct

The best car in the world is a woman… Ask me why

—2 beautiful headlights in the front
—2 great bumpers at the back.
—Self -lubricating when hot.
—Finger touch ignition.
—Automatic engine oil change every month.
—Any type of piston fits.
—Multiple seating styles & adjustments.
—Great accessories.
—Highest mileage 9months with just 5ml refill.
—It’s only repaired by God cos there is no spare parts.

“That’s why MEN are dying to own one”: please send to the other luxurious cars u know, and to the men who appreciate fine vehicles.

For it is written He who looks at a woman lustfully
has already committed adultery​ “..
Similarly as we enter this cold season…
He who looks at soap and water
lustfully has already bathed!