If i cheat on you for 3 months without you finding out…
Just know it’s over between us..

You can’t expect her to quickly reply your: “How are you???” Whilst another Guy is asking her “What’s your account number?My nigga Stop Joking.

This December I will be busy visiting my
relative’s all over, so I can save my food for
January

I want to get married to someone who’s
crazy as me. Imagine waking up at 23:00
hours and we both start laughing because
you forgot to pick up the kids at school

I remember way back when we used to remove our hats and greet our elders, now days we just remove one earphone to say ‘Hi’

Thief: who is the son of God? 🔫

Congregation:goes 😐🤐🤐🤐.

Thief: who is the son of God,oh else I’ll shoot all of you?.

Mr Brown: ask the Pastor,he always said I am the child of God.

Pastor: uyanya I don’t know God or Jesus,I never been to heaven

SCHOOL RULES WHEN I AM A PRINCIPAL!!!
.
.1..female students should wear mini-skirts only
.
.2..lunch time takes 3hrs while each lesson takes
only 20 mins..
.
.3..If u wanna get high there’s a room for
smokers
.
.4..Wednesdays nd fridays its party time no
lessons..
.
.5..if u ar a quiet person “sorry!get the out
of my school..
.
.6..During examinations all students will be
provided with text books
.
.7..All students are free to bring their laptops nd
phones bcoz free Wi-Fi will be provided.
.
.8..If u insult a teacher ur punishment is to play
FIFA with the principal..
.
.9..At lunchtime students eat every kind of foods u want the school will provide…
.
. WILL YOU JOIN MY SCHOOL??

Xhosa and Zulu people don’t care what they did,
all they wanna know is who told you…!!

My wife went on a holiday leaving me behind. I got horny one day and decided to try the maid who has just arrived from the village. I called the maid to the bedroom where I had taken off my clothes and pointed to my manhood: “do you know what this is?” I said.
Maid: (acting shy) yes
Me : “do you know what is it for?”
Maid: “yes”
Me : show me
The maid immediately knelt down, hold the item with both hands, drew closer and opens her mouth. (At this point I was shivering with anticipation and excitement).
The maid then began : “My name is Mary, I’m 23 years old from Orange farm. I want to send a shout out to my parents, Mr and Mrs Nkosi, my uncle Lesley, my brother Sylvester Nkosi . I would like to tell my boyfriend that I miss him. Can you please play a song ” Work Work Work ” by rihanna. Thank you. She then turn to me and said : “Boss, take your microphone. I’m done”

I fainted