Even if your wife has two SIM cards , Save them as “Wife ” , Not ‘wife 1 , wife 2″ ..!!

This massage is brought to you by a hospitalised husband….🤕

Why I will never teach pre-school kids AGAIN
……
.
At the creche where I work, there is a little
girl named Vicky. She is so cute and
sweet.Yesterday, just before knocking off, I
found her busy, trying to put on her shoes.I
approached her, and offered to help her. It
was
such a torrid time. The boots seamed to be
smaller than her size. It took me 5 minutes
to help her wear them. When we were done,
after making a steps away from her, she
called me said
“Teacher, you made me wear banana”.
When I looked at her shoes, to my
embarrassment, I realised I had misplaced
her shoes – the banana style. Upon trying to
take off the shoes again, it took me 3
minutes. After struggling so much I
eventually managed to remove them and
tried putting them on again, this time the
correct way. However, it was more difficult
than the first time.
When I finished, she said: “Teacher, these
shoes
are not mine!”
I really got angry, but since I work with little
kids,
I had to be patient and control my anger. I
struggled to remove the shoes. I then asked
Vicky where her own shoes were and this is
what she said:
“These shoes belong to my sister, my mum
is the
one who made me wear them in the
morning today”.
This time I boiled in anger. But since I
always do
my job perfectly and whole heartedly, I
helped her to put on the shoes again. When
we were done, Vicky pulled another
shocker, yet again.
“What about the socks, teacher?” she asked.
I wondered whether I should laugh or cry.
Politely and swiftly I asked her, “Where are
the socks Vicky?”
She innocently replied: “I shoved them in my
shoes, they are in front of my toes”
I simply resigned!

Mai Chinoz goes to Home Affairs to register for child benefits. “How many children?” asks the assessor?
“Ten”she replies,
“Ten?” exclaims the Home Affairs worker.
“What are their names?”
“Assnut,Assnut,Assnut,Assnut, Assnut,Assnut,Assnut,Assnut, Assnut and Assnut ”
… “Doesn’t that get confusing?” “Naah…” says Mai Chinoz. “It’s
great because if they are out playing in the street I just have to
shout Assnut, YOUR SUPPER’S READY or
Assnut GO TO BED NOW and they all do it…”
“What if you want to speak to one individually?” says the perturbed Home
Affairs worker.
“That’s easy,” says Mai Chino… “I just use their surnames”

Wen the relationship is new
👨: Hey baby wat are u doing???😊
👧🏻: M drinking water babe 😊
👨🏻: Dont drown okay my love

No secret is safe when a woman’s instinct
kicks in. She’ll discover things better than a
police agent so always be honest to your
woman because it’s better to be safe than
sorry.

Having a kid is like having a little broke friend

Me And My boss
Him: Do you think you can come to work
on Saturday this week? I really need you
here.
Me: Yeah no problem, but I’ll probably be
late though as the public transport is bad
on weekends.
Him: Ok, when do you think you will arrive
here then?
Me: Monday.

Fat girls be like ” I HATE PIC FRAMES 😡”
but we all know you don’t fit in there dear

Please i have a question, If i block someone on facebook
and i meet him in the street, will he see me?

I Hate people who can’t let go of the past

Debt collectors are the worst