Girl : Dad can l go to my friend’s place to do homework please?
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Dad :Fustek, your mom used to say the same thing to her mom when she’s coming to me.
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A wise Chinese old man once said: 📰
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“Shai Choi ting yang teng wong feng deng fung cho fungi ling” 👴🏾
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And I actually agree with him because it’s for our own benefit
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The Day You Will Be Looking For A Job And Find The HR is Your Ex , is The Day You Will Know Why Mathematics Always Tells Us To Find The Value Of X !!
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Pregnancy was once a very special thing
until 2000’s turned it into a hobby!
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Happy thoughts are the only cure for a sleepy morning..
and I feel the happiest when I think about you!”
Good Morning
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I’ve fallen in love many times…
always with you.
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Main Chicks Don’t Comment On They Man
Posts Or Pictures They Monitor The Comment
Section And Screenshot The Suspicious Ones
For Verification
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A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.
The policeman said, “Take that sheep to the zoo, now.”
The next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.
This policeman stops the guy and says, “What on earth are you doing with that sheep?”
The guy says, “Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I’m taking him to the movies.”
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Once You Start Dating Someone Suddenly
Everyone Has A Rumor To Tell
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Nobody walks faster than someone
who has been given extra change at the shop
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6+3=9 but so does 5+4.
“The way you do things isn’t always the only way to do them.
Respect other people’s way of thinking.”
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You don’t have to pray to attract great things, because great things are attracted to you already .
Pray that you won’t throw them away once they get here .
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People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,
people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest anyway.
What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway
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Familie*The Kasama Brothel*
The madam opened the brothel door in Kasama and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties.
“May I help you sir?” she asked.
“I want to see Mwansa,” the man replied.
“Sir, Mwansa is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else”, said the madam.
“No, I must see Mwansa,” he replied.
Just then, Mwansa appeared and announced to the man she charged K5000 a visit.
Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand Kwacha and gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Mwansa. Mwansa explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row, as she was so expensive.
There were no discounts. The price was still K5000. Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Mwansa, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.
The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Mwansa and they went upstairs.
After their session, the man asked Mwansa to sign a receipt that she had received K15000. She was astonished nevertheless signed on the receipt and said to the man, “No one has ever been with me three nights in a row and for sure this is the first time anyone has asked me to sign a receipt. Where are you from?”
The man replied, “Chipata.”
“Really”, she said. “I have family in Chipata.”
“I know.” the man said.
“Your sister died, and I’m her solicitor. I was instructed to deliver you K15,000 inheritance in person.”
Three things in life are certain.
1. Death
2. Being screwed by a lawyer
3. Wise men come from the east.
********************
If you have any question ask me
Another wiseman
😂😂😂😂
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Some Facts That Will Definitely Make You Feel Old:
1. Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Was Released 19 Years Ago.
2. Windows Xp Was Released 13 Years Ago, In 2001.
3. The New Millennium Is More Than A Decade Old.
4. Chetan Bhagats Antics Have Been Around For The Past 10 Years!
5. Pierce Brosnan Last Acted As James Bond 12 Years Ago.
6. The Delhi Metro Has Been Running For 12 Years Now.
7. Its Been 13 Years Since 9/11
8. The Matrix Came Out 15 Years Ago, Keanu Reeves Is 49 Today
9. Mother Theresa And Lady Diana Have Been Dead For 17 Years.
10. Remember Jungle Book On Doordarshan? That Was More Than 18 Years Ago.
11. Macaulay Culkin Is 33 Today. Home Alone Came Out Over 23 Years Ago.
12. Terminator 2 Is 23 Years Old. Edward Furlong Who Portrayed Kid John Connor Is 36 Now.
13. Sean Connery Is 82 Years Old And Retired.
14. The Youngest Spice Girl Is 37, The Oldest Backstreet Boy 41, Gwen Stefani Is 43, Madonna 54
15. The First Harry Potter Book Came Out 17 Years Ago!
16. The First Season Of F.R.I.E.N.D.S Was Aired 17 Years Ago!
17. Akshay Kumar Was Born In 1967!
18. Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Older Than Independent India. He Was Born In June 1947
19. Kids Born In 1996 Can Legally Drive, Drink And Vote This Year.
20. Jurassic Park Is Older Than Justin Bieber.
21. Rajiv Gandhi Has Been Dead For 21 Years.
22. Bryan Adams Cult Song Summer Of 69? Was Released 29 Years Ago.
23. Kids Whom You Remember In Their Diapers Are Posting Their Pics On Facebook.
24. Facebook Has Been Around For 10 Years. Orkut For 12.
25. Remember The Little Girl From Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? She Is 26 Now.
26. The Maruti Zen Was First Introduced 22 Years Ago….
So Guys Don’t Smile Reading This.
Its High Time You Realize That You Are Getting Old.. Older And Soon You Would Be Oldest…..
Time Is Flying And There Is A Very Short Life So Just Make Every Moment Special And Live Every Moment Before It Becomes History.
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6 keys to a relationship:
✓ Friendship
✓ Freedom
✓ Honesty
✓ Trust
✓ Understanding
✓ Communication
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