Dating a guy on social media without seeing each other
is like having a spiritual husband!

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and 60 inch plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

Colleagues Bill,Jim and Scott are attending a convention together and staying in a Hotel suit on the top of a 75-storey skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they’re shocked to hear the lifts in their hotel are out of order and that they have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill says to Jim and Scott ”lets break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concestrating on something intresting i’ll tell jokes for 25 storeys,Jim can sing songs for 25 and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stops telling jokes and Bill begins to sing. At 51th floor Jim stops singing and Scott begins to tell sad stories ”I’LL TELL MY SADDEST STORY FIRST” I LEFT OUR ROOM KEY AT THE RECEPTION

Some girls distance themselves from girls
and choose to be friends with guys just to
avoid drama and gossips. For her chilling
with boys doesn’t mean she’s sleeping
with them

Men who give their women ATM CARDS and PIN have a special corner in heaven with airconditioner and free Wi-fi access

*If you hear what people say right before they
pick your call and or immediately they end the call…*
*You would stop the friendship*

THREE BENEFITS OF CIGARETTES

1. Smokers don’t grow old!

2. Smokers can not be bitten by a dog!!

3. Smokers cannot be attacked by thieves while sleeping.

WHY NOT?
1. Smokers don’t grow old because they will die young due to lung damage, as warned by the Ministry of Health.

2. Smokers won’t be bitten by a dog simply because when their lungs are damaged they have to walk with a stick every time. And dogs fear people with a stick in their hands.

3.Thieves cant break into the house of a smoker at night because smokers are always awake coughing!

If you like these three benefits, keep smoking or start smoking!

*Have u ever been so broke and then yo girlfriend visits. U decide to buy her a drink…. U go 2 the shop with two bottles, buy one Fanta and fill the sprite bottle with water so that u may keep her company as she enjoys yo last coin. And when u get back to the house she says “Baby serve me sprite its my favorite” 😳🙆🏽‍♂. My brother u will feel the symptoms of ebola

I just smoked weed now but nothing happens I just wasted money 😭😭 anyway happy mothers day 🏃🏃 I love you dad