A pilot was told to transfer mad people from Naija to U. S. A . he agreed and carried dem in his plane.
Every place was so noisy.
Later one of the mad men approached the pilot and said; “pls can u teach me how to fly the aeroplane”?”
The pilot replied, “I will teach you how to fly if you will tell your friends to stop making noise.” (knowing that he can’t do it).
The mad man went in, after some minutes, every where was silent as if an angel entered the plane.
After some minutes the mad man came back and told the pilot that everywhere was cool now.
The pilot became happy and asked; “What did you do to them that made them to keep calm?”
The mad man replied, “I opened the door for them to go and play outside.”

A man went into a restaurant and ordered
his meal. When the waitress came out with
his soup, he noticed that she had her thumb
stuck into it. This upset him, but he let it go.
She then brought out his chili, and again her
thumb was in the food. He let it go again.
When she brought out his hot fudge
sundae, her thumb was in the fudge and
this was too much for him. “WTF,” said the
man, “get your damn thumb out of my
food!’ “Well, I injured it a while ago and the
doctor said I should keep it warm.” “Why
don’t you just shove it up your ass?” the
man said angrily. “That’s what I do when
I’m in the kitchen.”

U know that pain of deleting all yure nice conversations and pictures because u are dating a detective

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
So what do the rest have?
.
.
.
.
.
They have girl friends

Not Every girl that takes Toothpick wants to use it on her teeth.
•°•°•
Some normally use it to scratch their 5 months old weave..

Those girls who slap their boyfriends
when they’re mad.
I need to date one of them,
so I can teach her a lesson.

I once smoked weed and I got into a huge argument with myself, that day I got death
threats coz I was winning the argument… I’ll never touch the shit again.

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.
The new guy asks his cellmate what’s going on. “Well,” says the older prisoner, “we’ve all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke.”
So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, “Number twenty-nine!” This time the whole cell block rocks with the loudest laughter, prisoners rolling on the floor laughing hysterically.
When the guffaws die down, the bewildered new guy turns to the older prisoner and asks, “How come you guys were laughing so hard this time?”
“Oh,” says the older man wiping tears from his eyes, “we’d never heard that one before!”

The way ladies cross the road infront of beautiful and expensive cars like Range Rover, Ferrari, BMW, Mercedes benz its not the same way they do infront of avanza, quantum, siyaya and nyathi😂😂😂😂😂….

I have been looking and wondering about this for so long.
But why ladies tell us😂😂😂😂😂

Lemme sleep