Two factory workers are talking.

The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man replies, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?” The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.” The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

Between somebody and someone who’s someone exactly?

If you’re lonely and single just remember that
someone in love is getting cheated on.

Listen drunk me and sober me are not the same person✋…so if drunk me said or did something, you gotta take it up with drunk me😐…don’t come to sober me because we weren’t there…We don’t know what happened🚶🚶🚶…Please understand

Main Chick Doesn’t Comment On Boo’s Pictures
She Reads The Comment And Screenshot The
Suspicious Ones and Fight With Boo

Judge : silent in court 😡😡😡😡you’re making a lot of noise 😡😡😡 the next person who shouts will be thrown outside the courtroom 😡
Wreezy: ( prisoner) hurrray🔊🔊 maweyoweeee hehehehehehe Helele 🔉🔉📢📣
Judge : you’re not going anywhere

Fake Friends – Never ask for food🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 🍻🍻🍻..
Real Friends – Are the reason you have NO food!🍶🍶🍶 🍩🍩🍩🍺🍺🍺
Fake Friends – Call your parents mr. / Mrs.👫👫👪
Real Friends – Call your parents Dad / Mom👫👫👫👫
Fake Friends – Never have seen you cry..😞😒😞
Real Friends – Cry with you😭😭😭😭
Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back🎳🎳
Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long, they forget it’s yours!🔨🔨 🔩🔩
Fake Friends – Know a few things about you..🎆
Real Friends – Could write a book about you📝📝📝📝💾
Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door.. 🐢🐢
Real Friends – Walk right in and say
“I’m home!”🐤🐤🐤
Fake Friends – Will help you up when you fall over😑😑😑
Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “dog pile!”😁😁
Fake Friends – Are around for a while..😒😒
Real Friends – Are for life🙌🙌
Fake Friends – Say “like you” in a joking manner😒😒
Real Friends – say “I like you” and they mean it☺☺
Fake Friends – will read this.😒😒
Real Friends- will comment his/her best friend name

Have a small wedding, invite 20 people.
Afterwards, apologize to everyone for not inviting them. They won’t die.

Bae visited me last night for a sleepover 😊 so I was on a Sofa next to her watching TV, she was eating and typing on her Phone. I heard my phone ringing in the Kitchen where I was charging it, so I went to check it and the SMS was from her & she wrote “Bring the Salt on your way back” 😭😭😭😠😭 nxa..

Imagine you receive an SMS stating ” It’s over ” Whilst drinking Beers with Your Brother In Law 🤣
.
What are you gonna do