Lebo:Does this shirt make me look fat?
Tebza:No, it’s the fat that makes u look fat

A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.
“It’s not my fault,” I said, “Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again.”
“Do you really expect me to believe that?” he laughed.
I said, “I’ll prove it to you if you want me to!”
“Go on then.” he smiled, handing me the bag.
After flushing them, he looked at me and said, “Well, show me your pocket then.”
“What for?” I asked.
He said, “The drugs.”
I said, “What drugs?”

I don’t mind getting HIV from a Chinese
because I know its fake

Never joke with science students…. A science
student can prove anything for 10 marks.
.
Question:
Prove that “PAPA = MAMA.”
.
Answers
1) Education Student:
”Out of course”
2) Art Student:
”No Way”
3) Commerce Student:
”Cannot be proven”
.
4) Science Student: It’s Simple! Solution As
we know,
Pressure(P)= Force/Area
i.e P = F/A
∴F = PA ⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅ (i)
.
Now, according to Newtons 2nd law of
Motion,
Force(F) = Mass(M) × Acceleration(A)
i.e F =MA ⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅⋅(ii)
From equations (i) and (ii)
PA = MA
Squaring both sides,
(PA)² = (MA)²
∴ PAPA = MAMA

Today’s kids are so spoilt that they don’t know that in our days you could be beaten for any of the following reasons:
1. Crying after being beaten.
2. Not crying after being beaten
3. Crying without being beaten
4. Standing while the elders are seated
5. Sitting while the elders stand
6. Walking around aimlessly where the elders are seated.
7. Replying back to an elder
8. Not replying back to an elder
9. Spending too much time without being beaten.
10. Singing after being admonished
11. Not greeting visitors
12. Eating food prepared for the visitors.
13. Crying to go with the visitors when the visitors are leaving.
14. Refusing to eat.
15. Coming back home after sunset
16. Eating at the neighbour’s home
17. Generally being moody.
18. Generally being too excited.
19. Fighting with your age mate and losing.
20. Fighting with your age mate and winning.
21. Eating too slowly
22. Eating too quickly
23. Eating too much
24. Sleeping while the elders had already woken up
25. Looking at the visitors while they are eating
26.Stumbling and falling when walking…

I gave up on English the Day I realized that “manslaughter” is not the sound a Man makes while Laughing..

Ask your boyfriend to resend photos
you sent him last week Thank me later

I dont mean to brag but my bank says
I have ‘an outstanding balance’!

When I was born I was so mad at my parents,
I didn’t talk to them for 12 months…