*Did you know*
A boiled cabbage has higher nutrients than 3 pieces of chicken
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*Did you know*
A boiled cabbage has higher nutrients than 3 pieces of chicken
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I remember going to a ZCC church
Looking for a job..
I thought it was a security company
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*Even if ur wife has two simcards,*
*Save them as wife, NOT wife1 and wife2*
This message is brought to you by a hospitalized husband.
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It’s not your fault for hurting me.
It’s mine for thinking you wouldn’t
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When you get married is it necessary to live together?
I mean we could visit each other mos?
if you don’t wanna be far from me,
we could at least be neighbours ke 😑
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A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra.He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”
The old farmer Peter replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”
The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Cowra. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule’.”
The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”
The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very
slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”
MORAL:
When you are educated, you’ll believe only half of what you hear.
When you’re intelligent, you’ll know which half
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Santa Banta Were Fighting After Exam.
Sir: “Why Are You Fighting?”
Santa: “This Fool Left The Answer Sheet Blank”
Sir: “So What?”
Santa: “Even I Did The Same Thing, Now Teacher Will Think That We Both Copied“
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Why Does It Always Have To Be A WOMAN
Who Keeps The Relationship Alive
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I remember back then when I was at Rainbow’s house
and Selimathunzi visited him.
When they opened the fridge they found a vaseline
I was never traumatised like that
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I look at some people sometimes and ask myself
“Who will kiss this one
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Dear Future Husband
Baby
I’m Learning Cooking Only For You
After Marriage When You Will Get Angry With Me
I Will Cook For You .. ‘
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A man reached 70 years of age and was affected by a disease which made him unable to urinate. The doctors told him that he needs an operation to cure the disease. He agreed to do the operation as the problem was giving him severe pain for days. When the operation was completed the doctor gave him a bill which covered all the costs. After looking at the bill, the man started crying. Upon seeing this, the doctor said “If the cost is too high then we could make some other arrangements for you.” The old man replied, “I am not crying because of the money but I am crying because GOD let me urinate for 70 years and He never sent me a bill!”
We rarely thank GOD for these things which are indeed great favours. Let us ask GOD to grant us the ability to recognize His bounties and thank Him often.
And He gave you of all that you asked for, and if you count the blessings of GOD, never will you be able to count them, they are more than the sand in the ocean
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Huawei is like that girl you used to say she’s ugly in High school
then after Grade 12 she’s showing everyone flames.!
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You have been single from January to October
and as we enter in November you found love.
Bro do not accept,
the devil wants to play with your little savings …
Concentrate!
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I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home.
Pointing a knife at me … He asked me “your money or your life!”
I told him I am Married… so I have no money and no life…
We hugged and cried together.
It was a beautiful moment.
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At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace.
*The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor*.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom’s men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
*The woman replied, “I can’t hear from the back.*
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