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You are bathing and someone mistakenly open your door,,*
*what will you hide,,,,,,,*
*Me::i will hide my soap

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I was mugged by a thief last night on my way home.

Pointing a knife at me … He asked me “your money or your life!”

I told him I am Married… so I have no money and no life…

We hugged and cried together.

It was a beautiful moment.

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Sometimes it is not enough to do our best
we must do what is required…

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Imagine attending your friend’s funeral then you receive a text saying “Thanks for coming friend, i love you so much”

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It’s now 7 months since I joined the gym and nothing has changed.
Maybe it’s time I go there personally and find out what’s wrong😢

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If You Ever Get Caught Sleeping At Work😴
Just Slowly Raise Your Head And Say:
”In Jesus Name Amen”..! 🙏

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Man Dies. In Heaven He Sees A Large Wall Full Of Clocks.

He Asks Angel: “What Are These For?”

Angel Answers: “These Are Lie Clocks, Every Person Has Lie Clock! Whenever You Lie On Earth, Clock Moves.”

The Man Points Towards A Clock And Asks: “Whose Clock Is This?”

Angel Says: “Its Mother Teresa’s. It Never Moved, Showing That She Never Told Lie”

The Man Asks: “Where Is Indian Politician’s Clock?”

Angel Replies: “That’s In Our Office, We Use It As Table Fan“

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Mistress: when are you leaving your wife?
Mister: now, I come home.
* hasted came home at home *
Mister: we need to talk.
Wife: I also have to say.
Mister: it’s important to me.
My wife: that’s mine too.
Mister: you don’t understand… I don’t want…
Wife: I won the lotto 100 million! What are you going to say? You said I don’t want…
Mister: AA… I don’t want you… I love you.. I love you

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Girls Be Having College Deploma Certificate.😮
..
But Allows Their Hearts To Be Broken By a nigga
Who Didn’t Even Pass Grade 7.

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Enough about jokes on *wives*. Now somethng for *husband*…😉

A new metal is added to *chemistry*:

• Name – *Husband*
• Symbol – *Hb*
• Atomic weight:
– Light when found
first
– Tends to get heavier
over the years with
time

• Physical properties:
– Boils at any time
with inlaws
– Can freeze in front
of his own family
– Melts if sees other
women
– Very bitter if
questioned

• Chemical properties:
– Very reactive
– Highly unstable
– Possesses strong
resistance to gold,
silver, diamond,
platinum, credit
cards and cheque
books
– Money saving agent

• Occurrence:

– Mostly found in
front of TV, Laptop & Mobile.

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I do believe that GOD above put me here for you to LOVE. He picked you out among the rest because he know I’d love you best.

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Paul was a tent maker, Peter was a fisherman,
Jesus was a carpenter.
If your pastor has no day job, he’s a thief.

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I just found my cousin’s SIM CARD who
died 4 years ago
I’m thinking of Texting his girlfriend and
say”Guess who’s back.

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I come from a tough neighbourhood.
One day a thief pulled a knife on me
but i knew he wasn’t a professional
coz the knife had butter on it.

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*I have two toothbrushes in my house, one for me and one for all my girlfriends. Each of them thinks its her personal toothbrush*

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SERIOUS WARNING
On The 31st December Around 23:59 Do Not Go Outside Your House Otherwise You Will Come Back Next Year. Please Tell Everyone You Care For😌

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