Selfie Sticks were invented for
people who only look good from
a distance.
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Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit…
Wisdom is knowing that you can not make fruit salad with a tomato
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WARNING ‼‼‼
Please, don’t eat anything at these places
1.Nandos
2.KFC
3. Chicken lickin
*without me*
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The awkward moment when you pull your blankets up
and punch yourself in the damn face.
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Ladies repeat after me
“My boyfriend’s money is not my money”
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*Virginity Test*
*Son*: _Dad,I want to marry how can I know if my wife is a virgin_?
*Dad*: _Do virginity test_..
*Son*: _What do you mean_
*Dad*: _Buy a red and blue paint_
*Son*: _How can that help_?
*Dad*: _Paint your left ball with the blue paint,and your right ball with the red paint,when you want to have sex_ _remove_
_your underwear_; _If she says_ , _I have never seen_ _strange balls like this in my life_, _that mean she’s not a Virgin_..
_Case closed
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If a thermometer uses alcohol and gives accurate readings;
then one must not ignore the opinion of a drunkard.
*Are we together?*
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She walked into the banking hall, with her pointed shoes announcing her arrival minutes before you saw her.
She wore that kind of dress that convinces you that heaven is missing an angel.
The aroma of her perfume would easily finish a bowl of eba for its sweetness.
And the phone which she gingerly held to her ear, without minding the security guy that was waving frantically at her that calls are not allowed in banking halls, will cost a small fortune.
She stepped forward, picked a deposit slip and searched frantically for a pen.
About five guys offered her their pens but she took mine, maybe because I was closer to her.
After a while, or a long while because time stood still, she stood up and inched closer to me.
I was sweating like a pregnant fish and huffing and puffing like a Monitor lizard.
She whispered, “Please can you spell ‘thirty’ for me?”
I looked down at her deposit slip in surprise.
She had written, ‘Tarty Tausan’!
😂😂😂😂😂😂
BEAUTY IS NOT EVERYTHING.
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A Marriage without a side chic is like a
government without opposition party.
Let us not be dictators in our marriages,
allow democracy…
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January is the best time to pay lobola .
Right now families will accept anything even a bottle of coke .
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Understanding women is not a mystery.
When you’re wrong,
you apologize and when she’s wrong,
you apologize. Simple!
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Never Mess Around With Ugly girls Bruh
.
.
.
They Are So Fertile,
Once You Kiss Her Boom!! She’s Pregnant
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When she starts saying “babe the condom is
hurting me”
She saw the payslip
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Her: I saw the iPhone X at the mall today,
iyohh baby
Me: Okay baby, I’ll give you taxi money k’sasa
so you can go see it again
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Behind every successful man is his woman.
Behind the fall of a successful man
is usually another woman..
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decided to burn lots of calories
today so I set a fat kid on fire..
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